Once a couple overcomes any hesitation issues and/or any negotiating issues prior to spanking, the actual physical act of spanking itself presents a different set of issues, each of which are difficult to address. One of the biggest problems during the actual spanking itself is the submissive partner moving around excessively from the pain. In our experience, virtually every couple we talk to has had this problem at one point or another when spanking. It can be addressed, but it takes patience, understanding, and cooperation from both partners. We discussed this problem a few months ago, however it’s a common enough problem that we feel more attention to it is needed.
When the submissive partner excessively moves around during a spanking, the risk of bruising goes up, the risk of breaking the tailbone goes up, and the risk of long term harm goes up. Their violent movements may cause the head of the household to miss their mark when spanking, which may in turn cause a completely unintentional problem of bruising or some other form of long term harm to the submissive partner. The strikes of the spanking must fall directly on the lower buttocks or the sit spot of the submissive partner, and in rare instances, the upper back of the thighs. Any movement from the submissive partner during the spanking compromises their safety, which is why the correction of this problem is extremely important.
First and foremost, it’s important for the HoH to understand how difficult it is for their partner to hold still during a spanking. Spankings can be/are extremely painful, and it’s a perfectly healthy and natural reaction to respond in this manner to a pain source. It’s also important the HoH be reasonable in their expectations when it comes to the submissive partner holding still. It’s unfair for an HoH to expect their partner to hold 100% perfectly still throughout the spanking process, particularly the deeper into the spanking it goes. That simply isn’t realistic. There is going to be some movement, but harnessing that movement into something acceptable and safe is the primary goal. This is crucial in ensuring the safety of the submissive partner throughout the spanking process.
Now that the reason why the correction of this problem is so important is clarified, there are a number of different recommended options to address this problem.
The first universal recommendation before all the following options is that the HoH communicate to their partner how important it is that they hold still during the spanking before the spanking starts. “I need you to hold still during the spanking so I don’t miss my mark. We don’t need to drag this out and make it longer than it needs to be. It’s very important that you hold still. Understand?” The submissive partner has been given a choice at this point, so what does or does not happen to them as a result of their movement is up to them.
- Option #1: Additional Spanks – In this option, the HoH would add additional strikes to the end of the spanking. It’s important that the HoH be clear to their partner that the additional strikes are for them moving around to separate the two offenses (the original offense and the movement problem). Anywhere from 3-10 additional strikes is the recommended amount. While this option can be effective, the problem is movement during the spanking, so getting to the “end” of the spanking may be difficult due to said movement.
- Option #2: Corner Time After The Spanking – In this option, the HoH administers corner time for the movement problem their partner had during the spanking once the spanking is completed.
- Option #3: Harder Strikes Mid Spanking – In this option, the HoH briefly stops mid spanking until their partner holds still, then the HoH strikes slightly harder than normal for 5-10 strikes, then continues on at normal strength until the spanking is over. Again, it’s important in that brief moment that the HoH communicate that the harder strikes are for the movement problem so the submissive partner can separate the two offenses.
- Option #4: Striking Bare Mid Spanking – This option is only useful for couples that spank over any kind of clothing. In this option the HoH spanks over the clothing until the movement is too excessive, at which point they remove their partner’s clothing momentarily and strikes the bare buttocks 5-10 times, then put the clothing back in place. This clearly separates the two offenses and is unquestionably the most effective option, however most couples choose to spank bare-bottomed from the start, rendering this option useless. For couples that spank over the underwear/clothing, this is the option we highly recommend they go with. This is yet another reason why, in addition to the other two in this post, that we recommend beginner couples spank over the underwear/pajamas rather than bare-bottomed from the start.
- Option #5: Placing “Worse” Implement in Line of Sight – In this option, before the spanking starts, the HoH places a “worse” implement in the line of sight of their partner as a reminder that any unacceptable movement will result in the use of that implement. If the submissive partner has a movement issue when using this option, it’s recommended the HoH strike 5-10 times with the “worse” implement to separate the two offenses, then go back to the original implement being used.
Physical restraint of the submissive partner is not recommended, condoned, or advised in any way, shape or form for any reason. The submissive partner should ALWAYS have the ability to move freely at any point during a punishment situation at all times.
If the movement problem persists, the HoH could use a combination of the recommended options. For instance, a combination of Option #5 and Option #4 is appropriate, or a combination of Option #1 and Option #2 is appropriate. We recommend Option #4 far and away the most, however if a couple is already spanking bare-bottomed, we recommend Option #5 the most. As always, couples are encouraged to find which options work best for them.
This is the third installment of the “Addressing Spanking Issues” series. For the first and second installments, please click on the links below.
- First Installment: Addressing Spanking Issues – Hesitation
- Second Installment: Addressing Spanking Issues – Negotiating