Punishments: #5 – Intermediate Level Spankings

Chances are you and your partner are starting to see positive results as you both continue to grow within your domestic discipline marriage/relationship.  Earlier, we introduced the concept of spanking on this website (even though most of you were probably familiar with it already) with the beginner level spankings post.  If you’re new to a domestic discipline marriage/relationship, a month or two into it is about the time you start having to spank for repeat offenses, or are only seeing results for about two weeks at a time.  Once you get to that point, it’s time to “graduate” to intermediate level spankings.


In the beginner level spankings post, the definition of a spanking is covered, as well as how a spanking is recommended to be conducted.  If you’re new to domestic discipline or a new visitor to this website, please read that post before continuing on with this one.

Intermediate level spankings are done in a similar fashion to beginner level spankings.  Essentially what we’re doing is increasing the intensity of the punishment in an effort to achieve better long term results.  Most of the steps are done the same way as a beginner level spanking, but there are a few additional steps that make the intermediate level spankings a bit more intense/effective. 

Just as with the other punishment posts, we’ll explain how we recommend this be done with a step-by-step breakdown.  The following is a recommended guideline to be used as a template on how to appropriately and safely administer a punishment spanking:

Steps 1-5 are exactly the same as beginner level spankings.  Click that link to go over them.

Step 6: Do a warm up spanking.

Step 7: After the head of the household rubs their partner’s buttocks for approximately two minutes, the nerves of the buttocks are now “prepared” for the remainder of the spanking.  At this point, it’s recommended the HoH strike directly on the buttocks with the implement of their choice, alternating cheeks with each strike.  It’s recommended the wooden paddle be used, and it’s recommended the HoH use approximately 1/3 to 1/2 of their strength when striking.  There isn’t an exact number of strikes, but it’s recommended there be approximately 20 strikes, give or take.  The number of strikes depends on a lot of things.  If the submissive partner cooperates, the HoH can reduce the number of strikes.  If the submissive partner is moving around a lot, or reaching their hand back, more strikes can be added.  More intense implements require less strikes as well.  A good point of reference is 20 strikes, adjusting that number based on the submissive partner’s behavior during the spanking, and based on which implement is used.

Step 8: With the submissive partner remaining in the spanking position, it’s recommended the HoH rub the buttocks for approximately two minutes.  After two minutes of rubbing, the HoH is then recommended to exit the room for approximately three minutes.  The purpose of the HoH exiting the room is to help the submissive partner understand they’re still being punished, and to give the submissive partner time to think about why they’re being punished.  During the three minutes when the HoH is out of the room, it’s recommended the submissive partner do something that will help keep their mind on the punishment.  The submissive partner can do corner time during this period, or they can lie completely still on the bed, or something else, but it needs to be something where they will not be distracted by anything.  Some prefer to do this AFTER the entire spanking is over with, but we recommend it be done at this point in the spanking so the primary focus can be on comforting the submissive partner after the entire spanking.

Step 9: After the five minute “break” (two minutes of rubbing, three minutes of the submissive partner being left alone to think about their behavior), the submissive partner should then get back into spanking position.  At that point, it’s recommended the HoH spank again the same way (same implement, same strength, alternating cheeks with each strike, etc.).  On this second set of strikes however, it’s recommended the number of strikes be reduced by about 5 or so.  The point of reference on the number of strikes is 15 times this time, again adjusting that number based on the submissive partner’s behavior and based on the implement used.

Step 10: The entire spanking is over at this point, and it is now time for the HoH to comfort their partner.  As we said in the beginner level spankings article, this is absolutely vital to the entire process.  The HoH should NOT just leave their partner lying there, crying, alone.  It’s recommended the couple embrace, comfort one another, reassure one another, and generally be there emotionally for one another.  This is usually done lying next to one another on the bed.

Step 11: Once both partners are completely calmed down, it’s recommended the HoH ask their partner again why they were punished so they can ensure their partner understands the problem, what to do next time to correct it, and why the punishment was necessary.

Step 12: It’s recommended the HoH then give their partner another hug, then both individuals can go on about their day/evening.

Step 13: Rubbing the buttocks after the spanking, or providing ice/lotion/aloe vera is NOT recommended.  Rubbing or providing a soothing pain reliever essentially defeats the purpose of the spanking.  The spanking must be painful to act as a deterrent to repeating the unwanted, dangerous, or detrimental behavior in the future.  If the submissive partner uses lotion/ice, or if she starts rubbing it without permission from the HoH, it’s recommended an additional punishment be administered.  We recommend starting with corner time and escalating from there as needed.

Now that you and your partner are familiar with spanking and understand how it works, you and your partner are likely becoming more and more comfortable with spanking, as well as more and more accepting of the entire domestic discipline concept.  Not only should you be seeing improved behavior, but you should also be seeing how domestic discipline brings a couple closer together emotionally and spiritually.  That’s what it’s all about.  The intermediate level spanking isn’t easy to do, but it will be much more effective in getting an unwanted, dangerous, or detrimental behavior corrected for a greater length of time.

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