Punishments: #4 – Removing Privileges

Perhaps the most basic and common punishment within a domestic discipline relationship/marriage is removing privileges.  Some head of households may do this, all the while not intentionally practicing a form of domestic discipline.  We’ve talked to many couples that swear they would never practice domestic discipline, yet punish their partner by taking credit cards, or video games, or some other privilege away. We love hate having to tell them they are, in a sense, already practicing domestic discipline without even realizing it.


There isn’t much to conducting this punishment.  The HoH literally removes access to a privilege that their partner was misusing or abusing for a period of time.  It’s really as simple as that.  The other punishments discussed on this website all have an important mentality changing aspect to them, but removing privileges doesn’t have that element as much as the others.  Yes, there is the “thinking” factor with this punishment like the others, but removing privileges will generally get the “thinking” part done without an extensive lecture from the HoH.  A little lecture should definitely be given, but more often than not the submissive partner will realize that if they hadn’t abused the privilege in the first place, they wouldn’t be in this position.  Every time the submissive partner wants to exercise that privilege, they’ll be reminded why it was taken from them.

This punishment is often used in conjunction with another.  For example – a common problem some submissive partners struggle with is excessive spending.  Excessive spending is typically viewed as a spankable offense just for the act alone, but it’s also a good idea for the HoH to take the credit/debit cards away from their partner for a period of time until they can display some form of financial responsibility.  A mistake of that magnitude – a mistake that can destroy a relationship/marriage – often requires more than just a spanking alone.  Sadly, the fate of the relationship/marriage depends on getting something like that corrected, so it’s the HoH’s responsibility to get the problem corrected as quickly as possible.  Ultimately the extent of the punishment is determined by the head of the household.

As examples, some privileges that can be removed include, but are not necessarily limited to, the following:

  • Credit Card Privileges
  • Driving Privileges
  • “Going out with friends” Privileges
  • Computer Privileges
  • Television Privileges
  • Phone Privileges
  • Cosmetic Privileges

The only one of the listed privileges we’re hesitant to recommend is removing the phone.  The phone is extremely important.  It’s important that you always have the ability to talk to your partner at all times, regardless of whether or not you’re together or apart.  We feel it’s acceptable, but we would recommend only remove phone privileges when absolutely necessary, and we wouldn’t recommend doing so for much longer than a day or two.

The length of time these privileges are to be removed is determined by the head of the household.  It’s a good idea to have a starting point (for instance, a day or a week) and adjust the length of time in accordance with how the submissive partner handles the punishment.  If they use the privilege when they aren’t supposed to, the HoH can add another hour/day or two on to the duration of the punishment.  If the submissive partner handles it well and doesn’t use the privilege when they aren’t supposed to, or if they show remorse for their actions, then the HoH can decrease the duration of the punishment by an hour/day or two.  It’s all give and take.  The HoH should always be fair, and should always reinforce positive behavior exhibited by their partner.

Removing privileges is the easiest and quickest way to discipline the submissive partner.  It’s generally used when the privilege is being misused or abused, but it can also be a punishment for specific behaviors.  It can be used as motivation as well.  For example, “Before I left for work you said you’d get all the laundry done, but it sounds like you’ve watched TV all day instead.  No more TV until the laundry is finished.  It’s up to you as to when you get your TV privilege back.”  That sort of thing.

Feel free to ask any questions you may have in the comments.

6 thoughts on “Punishments: #4 – Removing Privileges

  1. Great piece. I have experience of all these sanctions and when appropriate have found them very effective in punishing my misbehaviour and deterring me from repetition.

    Another one I get id dress discipline. This means having to wear what I am told. This makes me feel very childish but then it is only applied when my behaviour itself has been childish. For severe misbehaviour this includes being told to wear a school girl uniform at home or other childish clothing in public. I find this very punishing but effective. I would be interested to hear if other wives are disciplined in this way.


    1. I also get ID Dress Discipline. I hate it too, specially when we have to go out. Depending on the infraction it could be anywhere from wearing a simple very girly short skirt, to wearing almost a full outfit including flat Mary Jane shoes. My HOH pulls the clothes out for me. He always says, “if you’re going to act like a little girl, you are going to look like one as well”. It really is very effective way of getting me to correct my behavior.

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