Some of you may remember us doing the “Spanking from A-Z” blog post challenge back in June of this year. In the “W” post of that challenge, my adorable wife wrote a “When Clint Says…” post that outlined a few select phrases I say to her from time to time (in the context of domestic discipline) and what those phrases really mean. Well, I’m returning the favor today. You’re welcome, honey.
When Chelsea says: “It’s not THAT big of a deal…”
It really means: “I know what I did was a big deal but I don’t want you to think it bothers me and I want you to not spank me as hard as I think you’re going to.” Yeah, I pretty much hear this every time she breaks a spankable rule. No matter how playful or flirtatious she tries to say it, it never helps her cause.
When Chelsea says: “Are you in a good mood?”
It really means: “I just messed up and I need to confess because the guilt is eating me up inside, but I want to tell you when you’re in a good mood so you’re not as upset and therefore the punishment may not be as bad.” My wife doesn’t randomly ask me if I’m in a good mood (she can usually tell), so when she does ask, I know a confession about something brilliant is forthcoming.
When Chelsea says: “So you promise we can have date night tonight?”
It really means: “You agreed to a date night earlier in the day so I’m trying to hold you to that even though I know I just did something to get me spanked and a date night sounds a lot better than a sore behind all night long.” This phrase of hers often comes before a confession as well. I don’t like ending date nights with a spanking, but sometimes an HoH has to do what an HoH has to do.
When Chelsea says (after the spanking): “Are you tired?”
It really means: “I really really really want to rub my bottom without you seeing and punishing me for it, so if you could just fall asleep that would be fantastic.” Yeah. I’m on to you, dear.
When Chelsea says: “Okay, but I have a lot of Domestic Discipline stuff to do tonight…”
It really means: “I know I’m getting punished but don’t take away my laptop because if you want anything to get done with Domestic Discipline tonight, I’m going to need it. Plus Target just released their Black Friday ads soooo….” Nine times out of ten she has a point with this one. It’s tough to take the laptop away from her since we do most of our Domestic-Discpline work at night, so sometimes I have to adjust the punishment accordingly. I admit her success rate with this one is higher than the others.
When Chelsea says: “Remember how much you love me.”
It really means: “Please don’t spank me hard, please don’t spank me hard, please don’t spank me hard, please don’t spank me hard…” I always remember how much I love my wife, which is why I spank her in the first place. Our spankings happen to be hard. That’s the way it is. You know, there IS a way to avoid spankings, honey.
When Chelsea says: “Probably just a warning would be good, right?”
It really means: “I know what the punishment is for this but I’d rather not go through that so please just let me off with a warning this time.” The very brief answer to this question is always “no.” Her success rate with this phrase is non-existent and it has almost become extinct in our home.
When Chelsea says (before the spanking): “My butt really hurts…”
It really means: “My butt doesn’t hurt at all, but I want to give you the impression that it does so you’ll feel guilty for spanking me on top of my already sore bottom.” This one never works, either. Who’s butt randomly hurts in the middle of the day for no reason at all? Yeah. Exactly.
When Chelsea says: “I’ve been so good lately…”
It really means: “I think I deserve a reward and I haven’t gotten one in a really long time so I’m making sure you know that.” Most of the time she’s right on this one. She does a good job with the rules. When she does a good job with the rules for a long period of time, she definitely lets me know about it. As for the reward, well, if I feel it’s warranted, I’ll oblige. I would say the success rate of this one is about 25%.
When Chelsea says: “Remember that time when you…”
It really means: “I’m reminding you of when you did this too, in hopes that my punishment won’t be as harsh since you’re guilty of doing the exact same thing.” She uses my imperfections against me, and her saying this usually leaves me without a rebuttal…but it doesn’t get her out of her punishment. I know, I know…that’s so unfair! Right? Yeah, my wife lets me know that, too. She still gets punished.
It sounds like my wife is going to have to come up with some new material. When I figure out what her new phrases mean, I’ll let you know.
It’s always an adventure in our house.