The first time I spanked Chelsea was one of hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. There was so much going though my mind at the time that I didn’t think I could get through it.
The act of spanking between a committed couple is something that triggers a lot of emotions in the two individuals involved. Some find it exciting. Some find it sexy. Some find it “fun” to give spankings, and some find it “fun” to receive spankings. Some are aroused by the very thought of spanking. Some like to fool around in a flirtatious way with playful spankings. That’s all well and good, and I can understand all of that to a certain degree. However, fortunately or unfortunately (depending on where you stand on spanking) I find spanking to be none of those things.
Some would say I’m missing out.
Some may say I’m too rigid or uptight about this whole spanking stuff. Spankings can be fun and arousing Clint! Geez, lighten up a little, will ya? See the sexy side of spanking! Enjoy the sexy side of spanking!
Well, sorry to disappoint those of you on that end of the spanking spectrum, but spanking doesn’t do it for me. It just doesn’t. Spanking isn’t my “thing” when it comes to foreplay, sex, etc. I don’t find it fun at all. Spanking is a punishment. That’s always been my view of spanking. Inflicting pain upon, or receiving pain from another person has never been something I’ve perceived as being “fun”, exciting or pleasant. Spanking falls into that category for me. I guess I’m boring.
Having said all of that, spanking Chelsea for the first time was very, very difficult for me. I don’t even know which emotion to start with. I suppose I’ll start with scared since, looking back on it, that was probably the most intense emotion of them all.
What was I scared of?
Well, I was scared Chelsea would hate me forever if I spanked her. Even though she was the one to kick-start this lifestyle in our relationship knowing fully what it entailed, I was scared she would flip out after I spanked her, and I was scared that it would do more harm to our relationship than good. I was scared this would backfire in a big way, and I didn’t know if our relationship would recover if it did. It’s funny to talk about this now, six and a half years later, knowing how wrong my thinking was. But, at the time, that’s how I felt.
I was also scared I would spank too hard. I didn’t want to hurt her. I knew the spanking had to be somewhat painful, but I was scared I would overdo it (and thus she’d hate me). I really didn’t want to screw this up. I really didn’t want to do it at all.
In addition to being scared, I was really nervous. I didn’t know what I was doing or how to do it. I didn’t know what to say. It was a really awkward moment for both of us.
I had Chelsea lean over our bed and I used my hand to spank with. She was wearing some light pajama pants. I spanked her around 8 times or so, maybe 10, and that was it. She was flinching and making little whimpers on the last few strikes. I had to stop. I apologized excessively to her and probably asked her fifteen times if she was okay. I thought I had just screwed up the best relationship of my life.
I felt bad when the spanking was over.
She was in pain and it was because of what I had done to her. That’s not a good feeling. She wasn’t crying, but she was clearly uncomfortable. We embraced for a few moments and lied down together on the bed. I felt like a total jerk.
In the middle of my apologizing and asking repeatedly if she was okay, Chelsea reassured me that she was fine. She didn’t want me to feel guilty about spanking her, and she reassured me that she had no issue with it whatsoever. She understood. Without that understanding and reassurance from her in that moment, I don’t know if I could have ever spanked her again. She calmed ME down in that moment, which seems ironic, but I needed it.
It was the results of this whole experience that made me see the true benefit of spanking, and living the domestic discipline lifestyle. Chels and I were reconnected instantly. It was a much deeper connection as well. I could type for hours trying to explain this to someone who has never been through it, but you really have to go through a spanking with the one you love to fully understand what I mean. The connection, the spark — whatever you want to call it — was truly something special after that first spanking.
That, combined with the fire lit under Chelsea to get things done (she was spanked for procrastinating), made me see and understand what living this lifestyle was all about. A punishment spanking may be an emotionally difficult thing to go through, but the rewards on the other side are beyond worth it.