Earlier this month we posted about things we learned throughout the many years we’ve been practicing domestic discipline. We mentioned five of the main things we have discovered throughout that time, but one thing we left out was about the importance of not jumping to conclusions when it comes to domestic discipline.
Take this story, for example:
It probably goes without saying that I have an issue with speeding although, let’s be real, it has gotten way better. But, I’m just not great with watching my speed in certain parts of this city. One good thing though – I rarely get speeding tickets! Thing is, I’d rather get a speeding ticket than a spanking..and those I always end up receiving.
One day last year I was driving home from the grocery store when I heard on the radio advertising the huge megamillions jackpot drawing that was taking place that night. Lottery tickets are something I have bought maybe 3 times in my whole life. It’s just never really occurred to me to do so, and plus we lived in Utah for awhile where there is no lottery and gambling is illegal. So, it just was something I never did. But, I had to stop and get gas anyway, so I figured hey, why not? Let’s buy a mega millions ticket! Or two. Or three. Everyone else does it, right? (This is a bad mindset to have, FYI. Fellow submissive wives, take note).
I know my husband really, really well.
We’ve been together for many years, and we spend a lot of time together. But, it dawned on me that I didn’t really know how he felt about gambling. Since he grew up in Utah, and we lived there for several years, I worried that maybe he wasn’t exactly thrilled with gambling and the lottery (after all, it is illegal there..) but I decided hey, if I win the second largest lottery prize in history he wouldn’t be too upset, right?
So, I stood in line for-ev-er. Apparently the lottery is a big deal! I got my ticket (or two, or three), shoved it in my coat pocket and headed home.
I don’t remember how it came up (he may have seen the paper since my coat pocket didn’t have zippers..) but he asked me what was in my pocket, and I started acting guilty as charged. I didn’t want to show it to him because I didn’t know how he would feel about the lottery tickets, and although I thought it would be okay, I didn’t want to take that chance right in that instance. I was going with the “I’ll just deal with this later. Let me put away groceries!” attitude.
I couldn’t figure out why he was acting so weird about it and wanting to know what it was. It was paper, okay? So I kept it shoved in my pocket and went about putting away groceries. Meanwhile, Clint’s suspicions were growing and I couldn’t figure out why.
A little while later, he came up to me.
“Be honest. Did you get a speeding ticket?” and then it all made sense. He had jumped to the conclusion that the reason I had been so standoffish about the random piece of paper in my pocket is because he thought it was a speeding ticket. And, to his credit, he had a decent reason to think that. It wouldn’t come as much of a shock to him if I got a ticket, especially when he knew I was rushing to get home in time to make dinner.
Once I realized what he thought I felt like I immediately had to correct his assumption. I took the paper out of my pocket and nervously handed it to him, although I knew that there wasn’t many things he would think was worse than a speeding ticket so I was probably fine in that regard.
“Lottery tickets?” He asked, confused. I just kinda shook my head yes, and went back to making dinner waiting for his response. He stuck them up on the fridge. “Sweet, that would be crazy if we won!”.
“Really, you’re not mad?” I asked. He knows lottery tickets are something I never buy so this was a situation we’d never really been in. He looked at me like I was crazy. “It’s kind of a waste of money, but of course I’m not.”
He was relieved the white paper he saw in my pocket wasn’t a folded up speeding ticket, and I was relieved that he didn’t really care about my lottery ticket purchase. In fact, looking back on it, I feel stupid for thinking he would care about something like that.
It’s situations like this where I’m thankful that my husband didn’t jump to the conclusion to punish me anyway, because I can definitely see why he thought it was a speeding ticket. But, we did both jump to conclusions that evening and we both learned a valuable lesson. If your conclusion is based purely on assumption and without evidence, communication is crucial. If we would have both communicated better from the get go the entire situation would have been avoided. So, lesson learned. Jumping to conclusions purely based on assumptions is a bad idea.
Oh, and by the way..we didn’t win the lottery.