How To Submit To Your Husband In Public

Some submissive partners view submission as a private, behind closed doors type of thing, while others believe it is a part of your relationship and lifestyle that cannot be flipped off and on. There is no right or wrong way to view submission, but those who view it as the latter often inquire about different ways to show submission while in public.

It’s important to first understand why a submissive partner would want to be submissive to her HOH while in public. The reasons vary greatly from person to person, but the most common reason is that the submissive partner views submission as a natural thing, and therefore they have difficulty flipping it “off” while in public scenarios. Others do it as a respect thing, and some do it because their HOH requests it.

Remember that submission comes in many different formats. To briefly recap them, there are physically submissive partners who are eager to serve and obey the commands and wishes of their HOH, there are emotionally submissive partners who desire to serve their HOHs wants and emotional needs, not necessarily physical tasks and there are sexually submissive partners who have a desire to serve in the bedroom. Obviously, for the purposes of this post, we aren’t referring to sexually submissive partners.

So, what are some ways you can show physical and emotional submission in public? Below is a short list that will hopefully cause you to help brainstorm some personal ideas for your own relationship.

Listen, obey, respect

These three words might seem like they’re overused in virtually every post that deals with submission and the truth of the matter is that they are. Those 3 words sum up a lot of what the role of being a submissive partner is and they are 3 crucial components to submission that shouldn’t be overlooked, regardless of public vs. private situations. How you behave towards your HOH at home shouldn’t change out in public when it comes to these three things. In public, if you are asked to do (or not to do) something, do it with a joyful attitude and not one that conveys disrespect.

Let your HOH continue being in charge

This may be easier said than done in some public situations. I’ll use an example (with permission from the writer) that comes from a message we received. In it, the submissive partner (we’ll call her “A”) explains an incident her and her husband (and HOH who we will call “B”) encountered at the state fair over the summer. Parking was bad, but A was insistent on paying in one of the numerous paid parking lots just to get out of the car and attend the fair, but B viewed it as a waste of money and kept driving until he eventually found a free spot relatively far from the fairgrounds. Long story short, A was very upset that B didn’t listen to her on this topic, and thus the rest of their day was rough.

In that situation, and really in all situations like the above, it’s important to remember that the “HOH hat” doesn’t get taken off when your car starts. Part of this lifestyle means that your role is to support and trust the decisions that your HOH makes, whether at home or out and about. However, the reason I stated this can be easier said than done is because often times the tasks and decisions faced at home are easier to accept than when you are out running errands, on vacation, and more. In those situations, it’s common for the submissive partner to feel the desire to control more than at home.

Letting go of the control and decision-making while out in public can take some time, and can be a process. One thing that may really help is the count to five method (see below).

Count to five

The “count to five” method is when the submissive partner mentally counts to five before responding to their HOH, or reacting to a decision that he has made. For example, in the parking example I listed above, if “A” would have counted to five before she reacted to “B’s” choice there’s a good chance that the situation wouldn’t have escalated into an argument.

Counting to five doesn’t mean that the submissive partners viewpoint on the topic is going to change in those five seconds. I think we can all agree that would be a tad bit unrealistic. However, what it can do is allow the submissive partner a few seconds to think about the reaction, and the word choices she is about to use. Thinking before you speak or act is a golden rule in all relationships, and it is no different for domestic discipline ones as well.

During those few seconds, think of things like how does what you’re about to say, or how you’re about to act, come across to your HOH? Is it going to come across as helpful, and loving or disrespectful and controlling?

To sir or not to sir in public?

Using the word “sir” at home is one of those topics that everyone seems to have an opinion on, and in public it is no different. My advice in this situation is to defer to your HOH and what he prefers. Some HOHs prefer that their submissive partners use “yes sir” and “no sir” while in public and at home because it helps to keep them in that submissive mindset, and encourages positive decision making while in public as well. It also helps the submissive partners mind to be focused on things like submission and domestic discipline. However, on the flip side, some HOHs prefer that it not be used because it can lead to questions from family members and friends (especially those who do not know about the domestic discipline lifestyle). There are valid points to both sides of the argument, and that is why I say that it is typically best to go with what the HOH prefers in this scenario (with the submissive partner’s opinion taken into consideration, of course).

If you wouldn’t say/do it in private, don’t say or do it in public

As a general rule of thumb, it’s a good idea to remember the above motto. If the action, or statement, you’re about to do/make is not something you would do in private then it is likely not something you should be doing while out in public either. Often times it can be easy for the submissive partner to temporarily forget about domestic discipline, and the rules, while in public because the HOH cannot hold them accountable and/or remind them in the same ways that he could at home. Therefore, it can be easier for rules to get broken or disrespectful statements to be made that wouldn’t normally happen. By keeping this statement in mind, or implementing it as a rule, it can help to ensure that the same rules and mindsets held at home are applied to public scenarios as well.

Showing submission in public is definitely more tricky than showing submission at home, but it can be done. Think of the things that you do to show submission at home, and how that can translate to a public situation. For example, if you always serve your HOH dinner at home, make an effort to make his plates at get togethers in public, or serve him first at a restaurant before yourself. These are just small examples of changes you could make to the submissive behaviors you already do at home that could go a long way.

Exercises for the week:

Make a list of 5 submissive behaviors that you do at home and translate those into 5 submissive behaviors you could do in public.

Ask your HOH the following questions:

  • What are your thoughts and opinions on the word “sir” in public?
  • On a 1-10 scale, how do you feel I do with showing submission in public currently?
  • When you think of submission in public what are some character traits you think of?


21 thoughts on “How To Submit To Your Husband In Public

  1. I have a hard time being submissive to my husband in public, so reading all of this really gave me some helpful advice on showing respect and submitting to my husband in public…

  2. This is a really helpful post, thanks! Would you be able to give some similar advice on how HOHs can show some dominant behaviour while in public and how misbehaviour/rule breaking can be dealt with in a public setting?

  3. One of the questions I have though is, if she acts up in public after you have already given her a warning, is it natural to take them somewhere private and spank them, or just say something like, you have been disobedient and now you’re going to get a spanking when we get home. How should disobedience in public be handled in people’s opinion?

    1. If ive acted up in public my husband says to me “you know what to expect when we get home” he dosent make anything public, or discipline in public he believes it should be done in the privacy of our own home, and never outside of our bedroom, but that’s just us everybody is entitled to do things the way they believed to be done, i just thought id voice my opinion and experience….. I’ve never commented on anything before (on this topic ) so this was a huge step to take for me, (im just always afraid of bein made fun of) or people making negative remarks about this and what I and my husband believe in…

  4. I have said Sir in public on occasion. Especially if he is reprimanding me. So I don’t see a problem with it.
    On a scale of 1 to 10 on showing submissive public behavior, I’m probably about 5.

    When I think of submission in public, I think of the struggles to obey my husband. Especially if he wants to go home from being out with friends and I still want stay.
    My female friends who are so independent and feministic give me that “look” and roll of the eyes when he says,” OK hun. I need to go to bed, work early in the morning. Time to go.”

    I guess even after 8 years of DD, things are still a work in progress. Lol.

      1. My Husband dosent care if were at home or at the store or resturaunt, he expects complete full submission, and respect No matter what, but i also have the desire to obey n respect him, its still a learning progress for us everyday, we been living this way since 2009,

    1. I probally run about a 4 in public being submissive to my husband, but ive also have been reminded quite a few dozen times by husband,

  5. Thank you for this enlightening post it is very helpful to read contextual components about submission as I have a tendency to struggle in this area especially when other people are paying attention
    This has brought me to being in trouble so many times so I am always looking for better ways to practice submission while out and about

  6. I try very hard to be submissive in public as it is what I should be. I take care not to speak about matters which don’t concern me and try never to interrupt my HoH. If I am being punished I have to address him as Sir at all times including in public. In some situations this is embarrassing for me but then that is part of my punishment. I always do what he asks me without question.

    If I misbehave in public I know I will be punished at home. If I have misbehaved when we are out if we are driving home I have to sit in the back of the car in silence and think about my offences all the way home.

    Ahh helps me realise that compliance with our rules is the correct way.

      1. Im always saying yes n no sir, I know better than to not say it, but that’s just one of the ways my husband wants me to show respect, it’s the way he has taught me so wether we’re in public or at home I always have to say yes or no sir but I’m also showing a good example to my daughters by showing respect to my husband, but I also like my husband being the leader I like him being the one who makes the final decision and when things need corrected he corrects them I like the way that we live our life and I am not ashamed to admit that to anybody not anymore

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