2Long time readers of Domestic Discipline know that we’re not ones to shy away from controversial domestic discipline topics. This entry certainly touches on one, but it’s something that we feel is important to acknowledge/discuss since it can and does happen from time to time to some domestic discipline couples. The topic this post is centered around is markings/bruises that may result from a discipline spanking.
Anytime there is physical discipline involved between two consenting adults, there is always a risk of visible physical “damage” to the one being punished. We’re not talking about redness on the buttocks from a spanking either – that’s to be expected. We’re talking about raised bumps/welts, or bruising that resulted from a spanking.
An HoH in a domestic discipline relationship should always work to avoid marks/bruising, and take all necessary precautions to prevent them from happening. There are a number of things an HoH, whether male or female, can do to give the spanking process optimal circumstances to prevent marks/bruising, and they are as follows:
- An HoH must always get themselves calm before spanking, and never spank when angry.
- An HoH can (and should) conduct warm up spankings in discipline spanking situations, particularly if the spanking is going to be rather intense.
- If the submissive partner bruises easily, the HoH can (and should) use light implements (such as a wooden spoon).
- Thin spanking implements, such as a cane or a switch, should only be used in moderation and only for the most serious of offenses.
All of these things can (and do) aid in preventing any kind of marking/bruising. Whenever possible, an HoH should always use these techniques/recommendations when spanking to give themselves the best chance at preventing marks/bruises from happening.
What if marks/bruises DO happen despite taking these precautions?
If marking/bruising occurs after a spanking, then something within the spanking itself was done incorrectly, or went wrong (unless bruising is a result of a medical condition such as anemia). It could be any number of things, but some common reasons marking/bruising results from a spanking are that the spanking was done too hard (usually a result of the HoH being angry when spanking), a dense implement (such as a wooden paddle) was used excessively, a thin implement (cane, switch, etc.) was used excessively, no warm up spanking was conducted, and/or the spanking was conducted over clothing and therefore did not afford the HoH the luxury of seeing the results of the strikes (which lead to an inadvertent excessive spanking).
Bruising can also result from the submissive partner’s failure to hold still, causing the HoH to strike an area of the body without much muscle tissue to absorb the strike (like the hip bone, for instance), but that’s rare.
The bottom line, assuming a medical condition like anemia is not related to the bruising, is that if marking/bruising resulted from the spanking, then something went wrong during the spanking and it’s the HoH’s “job” to determine what what went wrong and correct the problem quickly, and to the best of their ability.
Make no mistake about it, marks/bruises from a spanking are not the ultimate goal of the punishment. It’s not something we at Domestic Discipline support or condone for what we hope to be obvious reasons. But, we also recognize and understand that bruising/marking may unintentionally happen at some point in a couple’s domestic discipline practices.
If a mark/bruise is left on the submissive partner, how should a couple handle it?
We’ll answer this question under the assumption that the marks/bruises were unintentionally left on the submissive partner. If they were intentionally done, then the couple should stop domestic discipline immediately and look into getting professional help, be it anger management/counseling or otherwise.
The first thing that needs to happen is a sincere apology from the HoH to the submissive partner. This really goes without saying and will likely be a natural reaction anyway, but it’s still important that we include this within the answer to this question. Again, any marks/bruises left on the submissive partner are not the goal, and the HoH needs to acknowledge their incorrect execution of the spanking and take full responsibility for it.
As a general recommendation, we advise against any rubbing of the buttocks immediately after a spanking. However, if marks/bruises result from the spanking, we feel this would be an exception to that recommendation. Light and gentle rubbing of the buttocks will help subdue the pain of the marks/bruises, and will show an elevated level of care, affection, and love from the HoH. Rubbing from the HoH will also provide an additional sign that the HoH acknowledges and understands that they incorrectly, and likely unintentionally, left marks/bruises on their partner.
For treatment of the bruises, arnica gel or an aloe based lotion can help speed up the healing process, as can hot and cold compresses. However, we are not doctors nor do we play them on TV, so for advice/recommendations on treatment of marks/bruises we’ll defer to Tom, a board certified Cardiothoracic Surgeon, who we interviewed some years ago. Tom gives lengthy medical answers to questions about bruising in part I of his interview (found here), but in summary Tom suggests a couple simply allow bruises to heal on their own. To read over Tom’s more detailed responses regarding bruising, please click on that interview link (questions 5 and 6 of the interview address bruising).
If any marks/bruises do occur after a spanking, it’s not something that should be taken lightly, of course. Bruising/marks are very serious and should always be treated as such. With that said however, it’s not uncommon for couples just starting out with the domestic discipline lifestyle to have an instance or two where bruising does result from a spanking. A beginner couple is learning as they go, and a spanking or two may result in some light bruising in the process. We won’t go as far as saying it can be expected, but it’s not uncommon. It shouldn’t happen, but if it does, it isn’t the end of the world. It takes time to master the “correct” way in which to spank, and with experience will come correct execution of a spanking.
If domestic discipline is something a couple truly wants in their relationship, a rare bruising/marking issue shouldn’t discourage them from continuing on with living the lifestyle. It’s something that is very easily corrected, and it’s something a couple can work through if they support one another and work together in ensuring that it does not happen again in the future.