How to get started in domestic discipline


Getting interested in Loving Domestic Discipline is easy. The desire for Loving Domestic Discipline is a natural and healthy feminine instinct in a woman that is connected to a desire for love, security, submission and connection with her husband. Some women have thought about being spanked for misbehavior since they were very young, while others have only considered the idea much later in life. Regardless of how she arrives at an awareness of her interest, becoming interested is the easy part of Loving Domestic Discipline.

The harder part is getting started. Getting started in Loving Domestic Discipline is not always obvious or easy. Many women face the initial problem of convincing their husband to discipline them, even though their husband has been told never to hit a girl since he was a young boy. This is a problem that, when overcome, leaves the couple with their next challenge, which is “how do we start living the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle?”


Some couples agree on a specific list of misbehaviors that the woman will be disciplined for, while others simply agree that the man will be the HOH and that he will decide when the woman needs to be punished. But this still leaves the question of how the first spanking is going to be conducted. Should they wait until the woman has committed a disciplinable offense? Should she be punished immediately for previous misbehavior that occurred before their Loving Domestic Discipline agreement? Should she receive a Maintenance Discipline? Should they do a non-contact test run?

The recommended practice in Loving Domestic Discipline is to use an Introductory Discipline. An Introductory Discipline is a woman’s (or a couple’s) first Loving Domestic Discipline experience together, where she will be disciplined for the first time. There are many other names for an Introductory Discipline. It can also be referred to as a Practice Spanking, a First Spanking, an Initiation Discipline, a Welcome Discipline, a Test Discipline, or various other terms. All of these essentially refer to the same practice, although with a slightly varying focus.

The idea of an Introductory Discipline is very simple. It is an introduction to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle for the woman and her HOH. It may be the first time that the woman has ever been spanked in her life. It may be the first time that she has been spanked since childhood. It may be the first non-erotic adult spanking she has ever received. It may simply be the first spanking that she has received from her husband, even if she has been spanked before by other men in previous relationships. It may be the first discipline spanking she has received from her husband, even though they may have already practiced some form of erotic spanking during lovemaking.

Similar situations exist for the new HOH. Maybe he has never spanked a woman for any reason. Maybe he has spanked other women for erotic reasons. Maybe he has disciplined other women but not his current wife. Maybe he has only spanked his wife erotically but not for punishment. Or maybe he and his wife used to use Loving Domestic Discipline years ago and stopped for some reason, but now want to resume their practice. All of the above situations are typical of those in which an Introductory Discipline is appropriate.

An Introductory Discipline is almost like a Maintenance Discipline, given in advance, because it is not administered for any specific wrongdoing by the woman. A Maintenance Discipline does not have to be given for specific misbehavior, as you may perhaps know. The lack of disciplinable misbehavior by the woman does not adversely affect the efficiency and benefits of a Maintenance Discipline. So too, the absence of actual misbehavior by the woman does not affect the beneficial nature of an Introductory Discipline. It still has many benefits for the woman and for her HOH, even though she is not being punished for disobedience, disrespect or dishonesty.


There are several reasons to use an Introductory Discipline. The first of these is for the HOH to simply practice the spanking process. It allows the HOH to practice his spanking technique on his woman in advance of any real necessity to use it in a disciplinary situation when he has to punish her for misbehavior. If a man has never spanked a woman before, or if he has never spanked this woman before, or if he has never given a punishment spanking, he will usually benefit from trying out his technique in an Introductory Discipline. By giving his woman an Introductory Discipline, he can get used to the feeling of spanking her bottom. He can learn how hard is too hard and how soft is too soft. He can discover whether his wife is unusually sensitive to pain, or unusually resistant to pain, or perhaps is just given to exaggerating the amount of pain she is experiencing. He can see the physical effects of the spanking on her bottom – whether her bottom turns pink or red very quickly, or whether she needs a lot of spanking before any visible results appear.

Her HOH can discover whether she will submit properly to her discipline – whether she will struggle and kick during her spanking, or whether she will accept it in a more submissive manner. If he is lucky, or especially skilled or especially determined, he may discover how much spanking she needs in order to be brought to tears. If that fortunate and highly beneficial event happens, he will discover what it is like to spank a crying woman.

If she struggles during her spanking, her HOH will learn how to control her struggling so that he can administer her discipline properly. If she trembles uncontrollably before her spanking, he will learn how to calm her down so that he can administer her punishment in a humane yet firm manner. If she bursts into tears before she is even in position for her spanking, he will learn how to put her over his knee and spank her while she continues to sob in shame, humiliation and embarrassment, or perhaps in sorrow that she has behaved so badly that her HOH is obliged to institute Loving Domestic Discipline in their relationship. If she refuses to bare her bottom prior to being spanked, he will learn how to either firmly encourage her to undress or to forcibly undress her so that she can be punished properly.

As some motivational speakers tell us, it is important to understand that good judgement is not something that most people are born with. Instead, we acquire it. Good judgement is usually the result of experience. Experience usually comes from making bad judgements and seeing their effects. So, good judgement actually comes from bad judgement. It may turn out that the Introductory Discipline is a complete disaster. The woman may not submit properly to her HOH, he may not spank her hard enough or long enough, he may spank her too hard, she may start yelling loudly before he has even laid a hand on her, or all sorts of other hiccups may occur.

Remember that the Introductory Discipline is a Practice Spanking. “Practice makes perfect,” goes the saying. But no one ever said that practice HAD TO BE perfect. In fact, practice is usually likely to be far from perfect. So it is unrealistic to expect that an Introductory Discipline will be a Perfect Discipline. That is not the goal of an Introductory Discipline. The goal is to experience and to learn from that experience, both for the spanked woman and for her HOH who is spanking her. Don’t expect perfection and be prepared to learn from any mistakes or problems that may occur.

Another reason to use an Introductory Discipline is so that the new HOH can practice overcoming any fears he may have about disciplining his woman. If he has never spanked a woman before, even for erotic reasons, or if he has never delivered a discipline spanking before, he may have some strong emotional reservations about administering corporal punishment to his woman. These are all valid and understandable, and are discussed in some detail in the article called, “Fear.” If you have not read that article, you are strongly advised to do so.

It is not easy for a man to discipline his woman for the first time. If he is going to adjust to his new role as her HOH, it is important that he should at least get some practice on the spanking side of things, so that he has a chance to face up to and overcome some of his fears about disciplining his woman and potentially bringing her to tears during that discipline spanking. By dealing with some or all of his fears in the context of an Introductory Discipline, he will reduce the amount of stress that he has to face when he administers a real punishment spanking to his woman. It is much better for him to deal with them in an Introductory Discipline, where there are essentially no expectations and total success is not required, rather than in a punishment spanking, where he has to make sure that he delivers a reasonably sound and effective discipline for his woman’s misbehavior.

Just as a new HOH may have various fears about spanking his woman for the first time, so too his woman may have various fears about receiving her first discipline spanking. She may often be more afraid of being spanked than is really necessary. This usually occurs because her mind will create all sorts of awful scenarios, in the absence of any practical experience. The things that she fears about being spanked often turn out to be quite unimportant, while other issues that she never considered may appear out of nowhere, seemingly. Receiving an Introductory Discipline will help to give her a healthy dose of reality about the true experience of a discipline spanking. The simple effectiveness of being disciplined by her HOH will also have a strong grounding effect on her, which will reduce any tendencies she may have towards hysterical fears and emotions. Being spanked is a very grounding experience for a woman, because it brings her full awareness into her body and out of her head. Whatever thoughts she may have had about herself or her HOH will soon fly out the window as soon as the swats start to fall on her bare bottom.

It is very beneficial for a woman to receive an Introductory Discipline because of its ability to deal with her fears of being spanked. Even though a woman may have been the one to suggest the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, this does not mean that she has no fear of receiving a punishment spanking. By working out the kinks in an Introductory Discipline, she will feel less frightened when she is spanked for a genuine case of feminine misbehavior.

An Introductory Discipline will also teach a woman a number of different things. Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, it will teach her obedience to her HOH. As discussed in the article called, “Disobedience Discipline,” it is vital that a woman learns to obey her HOH when he disciplines her. It is very good for her to learn to obey him at other times too, since as a wife she naturally owes her husband obedience, but it is extremely important for her to learn to obey him when she is being punished for her misbehavior. This can often boil down to a simple matter of safety. If a woman struggles, kicks or tries to block her HOH’s hand with her own, she greatly increases the risk that one or both of them will be injured in some way. Injury resulting from willful disobedience is really very stupid and unnecessary, since the woman can be taught to obey her HOH during discipline. An Introductory Discipline is a very good way to start teaching a woman obedience during discipline because she can be taught to obey without the consequences of a full punishment spanking.


She may think that she will be obedient to her HOH during discipline, but her obedience needs to be put to the test if she is really going to be sure that she can obey him. The Introductory Discipline will test her obedience as well as teaching her obedience. If she is disobedient during her Introductory Discipline, both she and her HOH will know that obedience is an issue that they will need to work on – either at her next punishment spanking or during her next Maintenance Discipline. Forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes.

Another reason why an Introductory Discipline will be useful for a woman is because it will help her teach her submission. She may be very interested in the idea of Loving Domestic Discipline as a lifestyle but be totally unprepared for the level of submission required to allow herself to be disciplined by her HOH. She may have read about Loving Domestic Discipline and have thought to herself that it sounded cool, without realizing that true submission is required of her whenever she is disciplined for misbehavior by her HOH. In fact, the level of submission demanded by a normal Loving Domestic Discipline punishment spanking is not very great. It is not some BDSM-style master and slave relationship, after all. Loving Domestic Discipline is really just good old fashioned wife spanking, which is a tried and tested technique, not an extreme BDSM lifestyle.

An Introductory Discipline is important for a woman because it gives her a direct experience of the pain of a spanking. It is good that she know in advance of a real punishment spanking just how painful it really is. She may be surprised by how painful it is, or she may conversely be surprised that it didn’t hurt as much as she expected. These responses also depend on the spanking technique of her HOH, which is usually a work in progress. That is another reason why an Introductory Discipline is so useful for the couple. She may feel compelled to explain afterwards to her HOH, in a respectful way of course, that she didn’t feel as much pain as she was expecting, and that maybe he could consider spanking her either harder or longer in order to achieve the desired change in attitude that Loving Domestic Discipline should normally achieve.

The benefits of an Introductory Discipline do not end when the spanking is over and any post-spanking analysis has been completed. A properly applied spanking, which usually means one that last sufficiently long, will produce an aching bottom the next day, without necessarily any bruising. Please read the “How To Spank A Woman” article for more information on basic hand spanking technique. If the woman’s bottom is not sore the day after her Introductory Discipline, then her HOH will know that he needs to spank her for a longer period of time in order to achieve the highly beneficial next-day-ache that serves as such a useful reminder for a freshly-spanked woman. Lighter but longer spankings are more likely to lead to next-day-ache than hard, and quick spankings. It is important to achieve a next-day-ache wherever possible because it serves to remind the woman of her responsibilities and her HOH’s determination to discipline her firmly for misbehavior, even though her spanking occurred the previous day. It helps her to feel loved and protected when her bottom is still sore the day after she has been spanked.

An Introductory Discipline will also serve as a deterrent or a warning to the woman of the consequences of feminine misbehavior in the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. It teaches her that misbehavior will not be tolerated. It teaches her that her misbehavior will be punished. It teaches her that her punishment will involve her being put over her HOH’s lap and spanked on her bare bottom. The pain and the humiliation or humbling effect of this spanking will help the woman to modify her own behavior for the better. It will deter her from future misbehavior of the same sort. As her first ever spanking, it will impress upon her body, heart and mind the fact that she will now be held accountable for her behavior. Her HOH will hold her accountable for her behavior at all times, and will discipline her when she misbehaves. Her first spanking is a signal to her that a new era of feminine accountability has begun, and that a new era of her HOH’s loving but firm leadership has dawned. She will now answer to him for her misbehavior and if necessary, she will be spanked for her own good.

At the end of the day, a woman’s Introductory Discipline will teach her love, obedience, honesty, respect and submission. It will teach her to fear the pain of a spanking. It will teach her to speak and act in a more loving and considerate way – with everyone she meets, not only her HOH. It will teach her that her emotions and whims are no excuse for feminine misbehavior.


An Introductory Discipline is not really different from any other spanking. However, that fact will not be very helpful to a new HOH who has never spanked a woman (or never given a woman a punishment spanking), nor to a woman who has never been spanked (or received a punishment spanking). The basic principles of spanking are outlined in some detail in the Loving Domestic Discipline article, “How To Spank A Woman.”

Firstly, there should be a reasonable amount of communication between the HOH and his woman before the spanking starts. It is good to establish the approximate duration of the discipline beforehand, so that neither the HOH nor his woman has any surprises. It is not a good idea if the woman is expecting to be spanked for 15 minutes but her HOH intends to give her 3 light swats before stopping. Nor is it good if the HOH plans to spank his woman for 15 minutes but she is expecting only a 15 second spanking. Communication must be done with a clear view of the goals of Introductory Discipline in mind. There is no point carrying out an Introductory Discipline if the pre-spanking communication turns into a session where the woman simply negotiates her punishment down to a few light slaps. The Introductory Discipline is still a discipline and the HOH is still in charge, despite any pre-spanking discussion that may occur. The communication is simply to ensure that no serious and avoidable misunderstandings arise during the course of the discipline.

Secondly, it is a good idea to keep it simple. An Introductory Discipline should only be done using the man’s hand, not with any implements such as belts, straps or paddles. A hand spanking is simple and safe, which are two primary requirements for Loving Domestic Discipline. Subsequent spankings can be carried out with an implement, either as a replacement for or an addition to a hand spanking, but the first Introductory Discipline should be carried out with the man’s hand alone.

Thirdly, tears are desirable but not compulsory. In Loving Domestic Discipline, it is always recommended to spank the woman to tears as a general principle of effective and beneficial discipline for her. As discussed in the “Tears” article, spanking a woman until she is crying real tears of contrition is the most effective way to discipline her for misbehavior. However, the first time that a woman is spanked by her HOH may not result in her successfully being brought to tears, as much as she and/or her HOH may desire such a positive outcome. She may have too many emotional blocks that prevent her from crying, while her HOH may not have mastered the spanking and scolding techniques necessary to reliably bring his woman to tears during her punishment.


Fourthly, the woman must obey her HOH. Obedience and submission are required from her during all parts of her Introductory Discipline. She may incur a Disobedience Discipline during her Introductory Discipline if she misbehaves in a wailful and repeatedly disobedient way. Submission is an integral part of Loving Domestic Discipline. Loving Domestic Discipline is not an opportunity for a woman to play out a rape fantasy where she struggles violently with her HOH. It is an opportunity for her to submit to the discipline that will make her a better, more loving woman and wife. Loving Domestic Discipline is an opportunity for a woman to both experience submission and to be taught submission via the disciplinary process and the punishment that is inflicted by her HOH. She should bear this in mind when she agrees to her Introductory Discipline. An HOH should not have to chase his woman around the house prior to spanking her during the Introductory Discipline. She should use all her willpower to humbly and respectfully submit to her HOH and to his discipline of her. The primary reason that he is disciplining her is for her own good. If she fights him verbally or physically when he tries to discipline her, she is acting both immaturely and against her own best interests. She must submit to her HOH if she expects to get anything out of Loving Domestic Discipline.

Fifth, the woman may make reasonable and polite requests to her HOH. If she is having trouble breathing or is feeling faint, she may respectfully inform her HOH. If she feels that her spanking has not really lasted long enough to deliver real benefit, she may make politely and respectfully inform her HOH of her feeling, although she must not dictate to him how or how long he should spank her. Reasonable and polite requests are not to be used as an excuse for disobedience by the woman. She must not ask her HOH to spank her more softly or in a different way. She must not express insolence, disobedience or disrespect in language that is disguised as a polite request. If she does so out of ignorance, her HOH may give her a second chance. If she continues insolently or disobediently after having been warned, she will incur a Disobedience Discipline, which should either be administered at a later date, or be administered after the Introductory Discipline has been completed.

Sixth, there will be comforting, forgiveness and reconciliation afterwards. This is an integral part of Loving Domestic Discipline and it is important for the new HOH to remember to do this. His woman deserves forgiveness and comforting after she has been disciplined. If he doesn’t know what to say afterwards, he should at least hug her and stroke her so that she knows she has been forgiven. Telling her that he loves her is a very good idea in this immediate post spanking period.

Seven, there will be tolerance on both sides. If the HOH accidentally spanks too hard and bruises his woman’s bottom, she will forgive him for it. If she is not quite as obedient or submissive as she should be, her HOH will not inflict a Disobedience Discipline without warning. Remember that an Introductory Discipline is an opportunity to administer a Loving Domestic Discipline spanking without having to be perfect. People learn from their mistakes and an Introductory Discipline is no different. But tolerance is not an excuse for callous disregard (by the HOH) or disobedient disrespect (by the woman).

Eight, the woman will thank her HOH for disciplining her afterwards, even if she does not believe that it was a successful discipline according to the general Loving Domestic Discipline principles. She needs to get into the habit of thanking her HOH for her spanking because it is important for her to do so. The article called, “Thanking” has more information on this important topic. If the woman feels that she is unable to thank her HOH for disciplining her, she must tell him immediately. The HOH should then put her over his knee again and administer more spanking until he feels that she has been sufficiently tamed and brought to a state of mind and heart where she will be able to thank him for his efforts in disciplining her.


When the Introductory Discipline has been completed, many people may imagine that the next time the woman is disciplined would be a normal punishment spanking for misbehavior. But this is not necessarily so. Her next spanking may in fact be a Maintenance Discipline session, where she is given a reminder of her responsibility to behave in an obedient, loving, respectful and honest way, and where she is reminded of the need for her to submit to her HOH. Some women may need a Maintenance Discipline only a day or two after their Introductory Discipline because of their need to be taught and to experience deeper levels of submission to their HOH. The Introductory Discipline is the introduction to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, of which Maintenance Discipline is a standard and highly beneficial technique. An Introductory Discipline will often reveal a woman’s need for regular, frequent and effective Maintenance Discipline so that she can be taught improved levels of submission and good behavior by her HOH.


It is vital to remember that an Introductory Discipline is an opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them. It is not necessarily going to be the perfect discipline where the woman is brought to floods of tears as a result of her HOH’s skillful, loving and firm spanking and scolding. It may be very different to how each person imagined the process to be. It may be exactly as they imagined it. Again, this is something that an Introductory Discipline is there to facilitate. It provides an opportunity to experience the disciplinary process for the couple without having the additional pressure of a real discipline where the woman needs to be taught a lesson immediately and effectively. Any couple who are new to Loving Domestic Discipline are strongly recommended to use an Introductory Discipline prior to instituting a Maintenance Discipline schedule or administering a genuine punishment spanking for feminine misbehavior. An Introductory Discipline will lay the foundations for a successful practice of Loving Domestic Discipline in the couple’s life together. Introductory Discipline opens the door to a wonderful new world of love, connection, meaning and personal growth for the couple who are tired of bickering and destructive feminine misbehavior.

4 thoughts on “How to get started in domestic discipline

  1. my wife is regularly spanked for maintenance Discipline .
    in the beginning, she was reluctant . she argued and told it was a old way to have relation insie tge couple
    after a particularly difficult week with bad behavior , she admitted she needed reminders
    we decided it will take place on sunday 9 am before to go to church and after breakfast
    she went to the sleeping room and undressed
    she was kneeling in the corner when i came and then i toke her on my knees for a long hard spanking
    she cried a lot
    after that we had a long forgiveness rime and she could dress up

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