Whether you’re brand new to domestic discipline or have been practicing for many years, you might not have heard of domestic discipline contracts (also known as domestic discipline agreements). Despite the fact they often aren’t publicized or talked about often, domestic discipline contracts/agreements have actually been around for a long time. If you’re new to domestic discipline, then looking into drafting a domestic discipline contract or agreement may be a great place to start. They can be useful in ensuring that both you and your partner are on the same page before beginning domestic discipline.
What is a domestic discipline contract?
It’s an agreement between two partners that are getting ready to start, or that have already started, a domestic discipline relationship. Domestic discipline contracts usually come in two forms:
- A generic based agreement between the two partners in which they agree to implementing domestic discipline.
- A specific agreement that outlines rules, consequences, and boundaries between the two partners.
Let’s break the two types down a little further.
The first is a more generic based agreement. These usually contain two different sections – one for the HoH to follow/sign and one for the submissive partner to follow/sign. These agreements are usually short and act as a basic written agreement between the two parties to implement domestic discipline in their relationship. An example starts with something like: I, __ (insert name), agree that on this day __ (insert date) we will begin utilizing domestic discipline in our relationship. I agree that from here on out I am subject to rules and consequences, and I agree to follow those rules to the best of my ability…” etc. That is just an example, but hopefully you get the idea.
The more generic based agreement works well for those couples who do not want to confine themselves within one specific set of rules or consequences.
The second type of contract, or agreement, is more structured and detailed. These agreements are often multiple pages long and express the specific rules and consequences that the HoH can use throughout domestic discipline. It also can include boundaries if that is something that the couple has chosen to include in their domestic discipline relationship. This type of agreement is obviously able to be modified at any time, but some couples find it to be too confining as the couples grows.
The second type of agreement is great for couples who are just beginning domestic discipline and want to establish a formal list of rules and consequences. It can also work for a couple who wishes to re-do their current rules list based on the changing behavioral needs of the submissive partner. Additionally, this type of contract is great for couples who have not yet decided on rules, consequences, and other details of the lifestyle as this really tends to open up the lines of communication.
Does every couple need a domestic discipline contract?
No, not every couple wants or needs a domestic discipline contract in their relationship.
How does a couple know if they should have one?
Well, like all aspects of domestic discipline, a couple needs to do what feels right for them and their relationship. For some, domestic discipline contracts are too formal, organized, and confining. For others, they’re perfect and help keep the couple on the right track. It has even been said that, in some form or another, contracts help with consistency as the HoH has a constant or continually present reminder of domestic discipline and what it entails. On the same token, some say that having a contract helps the submissive partner to be continually reminded of the rules and consequences.
Each couple needs to determine what is right for them and their relationship. A domestic discipline contract isn’t for everyone. But, if you and your partner do feel it’s right for you, we have included a couple of example contracts below that you can download for free. They can (and should be) modified to suit your relationship, and the needs of each partner.
NOTE: The following downloadable file contains two different domestic discipline contract examples. These are templates and are written generically because they are made to be modified for your relationship. By downloading these contract examples you understand that they are examples. We strongly encourage people to edit the text within these sample domestic discipline agreements to fit what they feel is best for their relationship.