Every now and then a couple will run into an unexpected challenge to overcome when trying to actively practice domestic discipline. A few of these challenges have already been discussed on Learning Domestic Discipline (the links can be found at the end of this entry), with one of them being a situation where a couple must work around an injury to the HoH. Obviously injuries and/or illness can happen to submissive partners as well, and just as with the other domestic discipline challenges, this situation can be a very difficult one to deal with.
In a situation where the submissive partner is injured or ill for any length of time, it goes without saying there should be a great deal of compassion and understanding from the HoH. This is a delicate and sensitive situation and should be treated as such. The HoH’s primary focus needs to be nursing their partner back to complete health. That, obviously and without question, is the number one priority. It is also recommended, however, that the HoH continue to enforce the rules of the household, even while in this difficult situation. This may mean having to alter the punishments to a certain extent, but punishments should still be carried out when the submissive partner displays any unwanted, dangerous or detrimental behavior.
The expectations and/or rules of the household should not have an “on/off” switch so to speak, and being injured, ill, or even pregnant (which is an entirely different situation which needs to be addressed entirely differently) is not an excuse for the submissive partner to take advantage of the situation by disrespecting the rules of the relationship and/or home (or ignore them completely). The HoH needs to ensure the integrity of the rules remains in tact at all times. By doing so, the harmony in the home will not be disrupted, which is very important in achieving long term happiness within the relationship and household.
In a situation where the submissive partner is injured or ill, certain punishments simply may not be possible. It’s recommended the HoH use alternate forms of punishment to remain consistent in enforcing the rules of the relationship/household. The submissive partner may display a behavior that, under normal circumstances, would constitute a spanking. However given their unfortunate condition, other punishments will suffice until the submissive partner is completely healthy. These alternate punishments are to be chosen at the discretion of the head of the household, with the best interest of their partner in mind at all times. This may mean having to remove privileges rather than spank, or write lines rather than do corner time, or some other more mild form of punishment to replace another that cannot be done, but the important point is that the HoH must continue enforcing the rules of the relationship and home at all times. If the HoH does not, problems would likely ensue and disrupt the dynamic and direction of the relationship and household.
The following paragraph was written under two assumptions – 1) the behavior displayed by the submissive partner constitutes a spanking in the mind of the HoH, and 2) the submissive partner’s expected recovery time from their injury or illness is one week or less.
The most common recommendation we give in a situation like this is one in which the HoH holds their partner accountable for their actions each day with a mild punishment (such as writing lines, for example) each day until a spanking can be conducted. This will serve as a reminder to the submissive partner that their behavior was unwanted, dangerous or detrimental and they’re being, and will be, held accountable for it. This reminder each day also serves as a deterrent from additional unwanted, dangerous or detrimental behaviors during that time frame. This will decrease the likelihood of any additional infractions, as well as decrease the likelihood of a repeat of the initial infraction. Then, once the submissive partner is back to 100% health, we recommend the spanking be conducted.
The following paragraph was again written under two assumptions – 1) the behavior displayed by the submissive partner constitutes a spanking in the mind of the HoH, and 2) the submissive partner’s expected recovery time from their injury or illness is one week or more.
Holding the submissive partner accountable with a small punishment each day is sufficient for up to a week, however if their expected recovery time is more than a week, then other measures need to be taken. It’s unreasonable to hold the submissive partner accountable each day for weeks upon weeks at a time. So, in this situation, we recommend the HoH hold their partner accountable with a small punishment each day for up to a week, with the last day being the most intense day. By “the most intense day”, we mean carrying out the punishment in a manner that is more lengthy, or more excessive, than the previous days. For example – for the first six days, remove TV privileges for four hours each day. Then on the seventh day, remove TV privileges for the entire day. The last day will serve as the “big punishment” so to speak, and will conclude the overall punishment. This is just an example of course, but it illustrates the overall recommendation.
An injury or illness to a partner is never an easy situation as it is. Trying to incorporate domestic discipline practices while in this unfortunate situation makes things even more difficult. It’s important, however, for the head of the household to continue enforcing the rules to keep the relationship on the right path. It’s equally important that they do so while maintaining elevated levels of compassion, support and love to their partner. Getting the submissive partner healthy is the most important thing, and keeping the harmony in the home is also extremely important. With the correct balance, this can be achieved with wonderful results.
This was the fourth installment of the Domestic Discipline Challenges series. To view the first three, click on the links below.