Couple’s challenges: The rules

Every month, we at Learning Domestic Discipline challenge you and your partner with an important relationship exercise.  These exercises are to help you and your partner both grow together as a couple, establish key domestic discipline components, and to help you both understand one another on a deeper level.  It’s important to strengthen the foundation of your relationship and express how you feel about being in a domestic discipline marriage/relationship as you move into the future with the one you love.


This month’s challenge is about organizing and establishing a foundation of domestic discipline in which to build the relationship dynamic upon.  This exercise is geared toward those just beginning with domestic discipline.  This exercise is essentially the backbone of what domestic discipline is all about, and an essential component of establishing a healthy domestic discipline dynamic in the relationship.


Create a Rules List for the relationship and household consisting of 20 specific rules and expectations.  Discuss each rule in great detail with your partner.  Sit down together and write out why each rule is important, what the expectations of each rule are, and what the consequence/punishment will be if the rule is broken.

There’s no better place to start than outlining the rules and expectations of the relationship and household.  It’s important to define the rules and expectations of the household so both partners are on the same page going forward.  Communication is important in any relationship/marriage, and this exercise will certainly enhance that aspect of yours.

We’ll get you started with a couple of examples that we feel should be in every relationship/marriage.  Ultimately it’s up to you and your partner as to what rules you want to include in your relationship/marriage and household, but here are a couple that we feel are universally important.

  • No lying or otherwise being deceitful to one another in any way, for any reason.  Trust is the most important building block of any relationship.  Without trust, the foundation of the relationship will begin to crack and ultimately crumble.  Always be honest with one another, even when the truth is difficult to share and accept.  Nothing positive comes out of lying, and lies will always catch up to the relationship in one form or another, and negatively impact it.  Lying is a serious enough offense that a spanking should be given if this rule is broken.
  • Any purchase of $XX.XX (amount to be determined by the head of the household) should be cleared by your partner first.  Outside of infidelity, there may not be a more devastating problem to a relationship than excessive spending.  Excessive spending can be absolutely catastrophic to a relationship/marriage.  Always discuss major purchases with your partner BEFORE you buy.  Plan shopping trips and set a budget.  The financial future of your relationship, and family, depends on it.  Any impulsive excessive spending should result in a spanking.  It’s a much too serious of an offense to do anything less than spanking if this rule is broken.

These are simply examples, but they should give you an idea and help you to get you started with this exercise.  As you get further into this exercise you’ll see it isn’t as easy as you may initially think, but it’s extremely important.  You both need to be on the same page, and you both need to understand the rules and expectations of your home and relationship.  Make sure you cover every aspect of your relationship, and make sure to include every rule you want within your relationship.  Once you’re finished, we think you’ll find that things will go much smoother in your relationship, and in your home.

If you missed past Couples Challenges, you can find them with these links:


June Couples Challenge: Great Qualities – Part I

July Couples Challenge: Great Qualities – Part II

August Couples Challenge: Confessions

September Couples Challenge: Planning Improvement

October Couples Challenge: Spontaneity

November Couples Challenge: Gratitude

January Couples Challenge: Compliments

February Couples Challenge: Addressing Faults

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