Personal: Confessions of a HoH

On Sunday, my wife wrote a post called Confessions of a Submissive Wife.  Now it’s my turn to give you Confessions of an HoH.  This is so much fun, isn’t it? 

  Please keep in mind that these confessions are mine (Clint) and mine only.  They do not reflect the thoughts/opinions of all HoHs living the domestic discipline lifestyle.  


  • I’ve “confessed” this many times on the blog before, but I don’t enjoy spanking my wife in any context.  It’s not fun, exciting, or sexual for me at all.  It’d be great if it was, I suppose, but it just isn’t.  I’m not wired that way.  Spanking sucks.  A lot of people don’t seem to believe me when I say that, but…you know…whatever.  
  • The times in our marriage when I struggle the most with domestic discipline is when we’re moving.  It’s such a stressful time and there’s always so much to do that I don’t put the focus I should on DD.  Ironically, those are the times I should be putting the most focus on DD, and I know that.  It’s a lot easier said than done.
  • I’ve thought about, on more than one occasion, stopping domestic discipline in my marriage.  There have been times when I’ve felt so much pressure that I wanted to stop living the lifestyle all together.  In the heat of those moments I felt DD was too overwhelming and too difficult to remain consistent with.  Then, after I took more time to look at the big picture, I remembered how much domestic discipline has helped us and realized that stopping it would be really really stupid.
  • I love hard rock music.  The wildly inappropriate, “your parents would hate it” kind of music.  A lot of people are surprised by that.  Bands like Metallica, Tool, Nine Inch Nails, Godsmack, and Rage Against the Machine are some of my favorites.  I also think the song “Lit Up” by Buckcherry is one of the top 5 greatest hard rock songs ever, and it’s about doing cocaine.  Isn’t that lovely?
  • Rap/hip hop music is terrible though.
  • I second guess my decisions like crazy.  This is one of the hardest things about being the HoH.  I’ve lost sleep about some of my decisions before, but thankfully everything always works out in the end.
  • It breaks my heart to have to spank such a beautiful rear end!  My wife has a really really nice one, you guys.
  • When we first started blogging, I was naive to how powerful and far reaching a blog could be.  It’s public, meaning it can literally be read by anyone and everyone with an internet connection.
  • I never ever ever in a million years thought I’d EVER be an author, particularly one who writes about domestic discipline.
  • I prefer at-home date nights FAR more than going out date nights.
  • There have been times where I didn’t spank as long and hard as I should have because I wanted to go to sleep.  After a long day at work, or a challenging day with the kids, or a combination of the two, it’s easy for me to wrongfully cut corners on punishments even though I know I shouldn’t.
  • I used to care what people thought about me practicing domestic discipline/spanking my wife and now I seriously couldn’t care less.
  • I don’t deserve my wife.  She’s way too good to me.
  • The most frustrating part about helping people with domestic discipline is when they come to me for advice, I give it, and they don’t take it or don’t implement it the way I instructed.  Call me conceited or whatever, but I really truly believe my advice would help, and I’m always TRYING to help, which is why I give it.
  • I think far too many HoHs are too prideful to accept advice from me (or any fellow HoH).  Many are too prideful to even ask.  If it would potentially help, why be so headstrong about it?  Who is Clint (or any other HoH) and what does he know about my relationship?  Who died and made him God’s gift to domestic discipline?  Yeah.  Great outlook.  I feel this mentality only does the relationship a disservice and hinders any potential growth as a couple.  But what do I know.
  • Out of all the submissive things my wife does for me, I’m the most thankful for her cooking.  I’m thankful for all the things she does for me, of course, but her cooking is second to none.
  • I always want to, but I never know how to celebrate our DD-versary every year.
  • I’ve only broken one bone in my life, and it was my left wrist was when I was using a trampoline to slam dunk a basketball.  I fell backwards on the concrete, using my hands/arms to break my fall, which caused me to break my wrist. #Stupid
  • I miss Utah.  The people are amazing there.
  • I DON’T miss the Utah winters, though.
  • The HoH responsibility I enjoy the most is yard work.  It’s a peaceful time for me, and gives me time to clear my head and enjoy the fresh air.  It’s my time to mentally “get away” and relax a little bit, if only for an hour or two.  This is when I tend to listen to all that music your parents would hate too, since I can’t listen to it in the car with my wife and kids.
  • I love my wife with all my heart.  I can’t imagine my life without her.  Domestic discipline has been such a blessing to our marriage, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  There you have it, ladies and gents.  Those are my HoH confessions.  My wife didn’t want you to judge her with her confessions, but I encourage you to judge me with mine.  Judgmental comments are far and away the most hilarious.  

Have a great day everybody!

8 thoughts on “Personal: Confessions of a HoH

  1. Man, so many of these things ring true with me (including my latent headbanging tendencies.. Nothing like Metallica turned up to 11 to shake off those morning cobwebs!). Excellent post. I’m feeling especially remiss in my duties lately. My tih lost her mom last week and I’m completely unsure how to handle her right now. On one hand I think putting her in that headspace while she’s trying to mourn would interfere with her sorting this out, but on the other hand I see the anxiety building in her and I know that the only way through that is to return to the regiment we were on beforehand of regular maintenance.

  2. Thank you for being so open. This isn’t an easy lifestyle and it helps to feel less alone in the process of making the lifestyle a success.

  3. Wish you guys were still in Utah! But I agree the winters aren’t the most fun, even though we just had almost 2 weeks of 40-60 degree weather.

  4. My husband and I have an 8 month old (who sleeps in our room) and a 4 yr old and we only have one night a week that we can do any kind of discipline, do you have any suggestions of different forms of discipline he can implement through out the rest of the week so we have more consistency? I haven’t really had any discipline since I got pregnant. I really want us to get back on track!

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