Boot camp from the women’s perspective

It’s been awhile since I went through domestic discipline boot camp (like, well over a year). But, I got some requests for this entry, and so I thought I would write it anyway.

Boot camp, in one word, is rough. There’s a lot of pros to it (which I will list in a second) but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still pretty challenging. However, I’m pretty sure it was meant to suck because the point is to learn lessons from it so that you never have to do boot camp again. And, I’m pretty proud to say that I haven’t had to go through boot camp again and hopefully never will (although, I’m pretty sure with my latest stunt, I came pretty close).

If you haven’t gone through DD boot camp yet, but you and your spouse are planning on’s my warning that it’s pretty intense. For me, it was more emotionally intense I think, but for others I’ve heard that it’s physically terrible. And, it is. Don’t get me wrong. But emotionally, it makes you think a lot about yourself (which I hate doing) and the homework assignments within boot camp are pretty thought provoking and emotionally charged.

Despite the pretty intense spankings and the homework assignments (after just having been spanked..), I wouldn’t take back the boot camp experience (I can’t believe I just typed that, actually). But seriously, I wouldn’t. It really added strength to my marriage, and improved my domestic discipline outlook and relationship as well. In addition to that, it built an unbreakable level of trust between my husband and I, and that, especially when using domestic discipline in your marriage, is key.

As strange as it sounds, I really didn’t think I could love my husband any more..until we did boot camp. The side of him that I saw, although it was strict, was amazing. He took charge of situations where I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to, he spanked me harder than I’m sure he wanted to (which taught me the ever so valuable lesson of “it could always be worse”, which now makes me cooperate with every spanking I get to make it not get to that point..ever), and the list goes on.

So yeah, boot camp is rough. But, if you can get through a couple days (or, however long you do it for) of intense emotional and physical battles, it’s so worth it in the end. It improves your marriage, even when you already think it’s amazing, and it really changes your behavior (seriously, I’m pretty sure I didn’t get in trouble, at all for like a good 4-6 months after boot camp. *sigh* those were the days..).

The best advice I have to someone getting ready to do boot camp within their marriage is the following..

  • Trust your spouse.
  • Find the positive in it. (It’s there, you just have to look).
  • Look at it as a learning experience.
  • Look at it as a chance to not only strengthen your marriage, but also yourself. For both the husbands, and the wives, it pushes you to a lot of different’re going to be amazed at the strength you have, and your spouse has.
  • Just cooperate. Trust me, it’s way easier that way.

If you’ve already done boot camp, hopefully you were able to see the same results that I have, or at least can look back on it and find the positive within it. I’d love to hear your views on how it went for you and your spouse.

12 thoughts on “Boot camp from the women’s perspective

  1. I remember reading about your boot camp experience last year! My husband and I have never incorporated it as a part of our DD, but have considered it. After reading your blog this morning, I think I might bring it up again. While it sounds awful, I think it may provide a good reset for us. Thank you for posting!

    1. Hi,

      Boot Camp works for FLR couples, too. Our own guide is actually recommended for FLR couples (it contains a small chapter on female led relationships, too.)

    1. Hi,

      Boot Camp works for FLR couples, too. Our own guide is actually recommended for FLR couples (it contains a small chapter on female led relationships, too.)

        1. Sounds like it might be time for a new boot camp for Chelsea. A new boot camp level 3.0 what do you guys (Clint and Chelsea) think?

  2. I do agree boot camps can be very beneficial, I just wish there were more warnings so that people are more prepared. I find everyone just lists so much of the good, people usually only ever hear the good, and when they hear things might not have been perfect, they get very hazy answers of why without any real specifics. So I’m glad to see this post isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I do wish that there were more specific things to watch out for. When we did it several years ago, with the book Clint and Chelsea put together as well as the workbook, it was horrible at the end of that first day. I went to bed feeling very abused, and we hadn’t even gotten to the spanking punishments yet. In one night, after an emotionally long day from all the homework, it was an evening of mouth soaping, corner time, bedroom time, lines, essay, etc, and it was toooo much. I kept doing it because I felt I had to, and the Duke didn’t think to ask how I was handling it all, he thought it was just practice, and so it should have been, but to me, it felt like real punishments after a couple, and just kept getting worse, this feeling of having done nothing wrong, and being emotionally beaten into the ground with each one. They were too hard when I was so emotional and tired, and I ended up crying my way through writing lines, and the Duke realized we needed to stop, something he couldn’t see during the 30 minutes of corner time and bedroom time because it was to be done with me away from him. It was so hard that I couldn’t even engage the next morning and the Duke did the next activity on his own (writing a blog post) because he saw I needed a break. There were great things in boot camp, don’t get me wrong… we did learn things as a couple, I just wish there had been more of a warning that after such an emotionally charged day with all that you go through, that it was made clear to HoH’s that maybe so many punishments in one day is too much, to check how the tih is after each one, especially when they are all done close together. Maybe this has been addressed since then, but back then, it hadn’t been. So now when I look back, this is the first thing I remember, sadly. We haven’t done one since, and even though I know we wouldn’t do the punishments next time, aside from maybe a few spankings, the idea of ever doing one again strikes fear in my heart and makes me feel queasy just because of the memories. Maybe we’ll do another one again someday when life is less chaotic with parents have moved in and little one under foot, might be a good idea to try to get a better memory in place for boot camps, but for right now… that is how it is… sorry.

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