Advanced spankings, or preemptive discipline

Preemptive Discipline is a technique that can be very useful in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. Some couples refer to it as a Preemptive Punishment, simply because that rolls off the tongue more easily. Other couples do not like to use the word ‘punishment,’ preferring to use the word ‘discipline’ instead.

Preemptive Disciplines are also called ‘Reminder Disciplines’ or ‘Warning Disciplines.’


The purpose of a Preemptive Discipline is to ensure the woman’s continued good behavior in the immediate future. It works like this: when the HOH knows that there will be a situation in which, based on the woman’s past behavior, she is likely to misbehave, she is given a spanking in advance. This spanking is similar to the idea of a Maintenance Discipline, except that it is more specifically targeted than a Maintenance Discipline. A Maintenance Discipline is more general in its application. A Preemptive Discipline is used to warn the woman that she is entering a situation where she often misbehaves and that such misbehavior will not be tolerated in future. She goes into the situation with a tingling, freshly-spanked bottom. If the Preemptive Discipline is administered properly, the likelihood of feminine misbehavior or disobedience is very rare. A Preemptive Discipline is usually not as harsh as a fully fledged punishment spanking.

There are some very good reasons to use Preemptive Disciplines or Preemptive Punishments. They can ensure her good behavior in the immediate future. A sound preemptive spanking can prevent her from disrupting her relationship with her man and with other people. It is an excellent technique for ensuring harmony in the couple or family in the short term. A Preemptive Discipline can also prevent a woman from being disrespectful or disobedient to her HOH, which can be very destructive and harmful to their relationship and the wellbeing of those around them, such as children, extended family and friends. If properly administered, a Preemptive Discipline will ensure the woman’s continued good behavior. Normally, this should not be a problem, but when a situation is approaching where you know, from past experience, that feminine misbehavior is likely to occur, a Preemptive Discipline can avoid a much worse punishment spanking for actual misbehavior. So although a woman may not like to receive a Preemptive Discipline, she would usually prefer it to the alternative. The alternative is doubly bad: firstly, she acts negatively, which harms both herself and the people around her. Secondly, she would receive a punishment spanking, which is also likely to be far harsher than a Preemptive Discipline.

Another reason to use a Preemptive Discipline is that it can be very useful for couples who don’t like to use Maintenance Disciplines. Although Maintenance Disciplines are very helpful for a majority of women, some couples still prefer not to use them. The problem for couples who don’t use Maintenance Disciplines is that they have no way to encourage the woman’s good behavior. The man has a way to discipline or punish her bad behavior, but no way to encourage good behavior. Maintenance Discipline is a regular schedule is to encourage good behavior. Without this regular schedule, some couples find that Preemptive Disciplines are a good substitute. Instead of the woman receiving a weekly Maintenance Discipline to remind her of her responsibilities, she can be given a Preemptive Discipline whenever there is a risk of her misbehaving in the immediate future. This may mean that she will go for weeks or months without a spanking. Preemptive Discipline should be required less frequently than Maintenance Disciplines, usually.

Why are Preemptive Disciplines effective?

Firstly, because a properly administered punishment spanking will always be effective in changing a woman’s negative behavior patterns. A good spanking will always send a loud and clear message to the woman that she has let herself and her man down. The pain and humiliation of a spanking will tell her, in no uncertain terms, that her behavior was unacceptable and that she must not repeat it again in the future.

It is easy for a woman to forget the last punishment spanking that she received. Whether it was one day, one week or one month ago, her mind will naturally try to forget an unpleasant experience like a spanking. As the memory fades into the distance, she is more likely to behave in a negative manner. Spanking is highly effective in modifying negative female behavior, but the effectiveness of a spanking wears off as it recedes into the past. A Preemptive Discipline will be fresh in her memory, because her bottom should still be tingling from it when you both arrive in the situation that the Preemptive Discipline is designed to protect against. Any desire she might normally have to misbehave in that situation will be tempered by her physical and emotional memory of the spanking that she has just received.

Some women may not wish to submit to a Preemptive Discipline.

They may feel that it is unfair. Other women will accept a Preemptive Discipline because they trust their HOH to always do the best for her, even if that means disciplining her in advance of a certain situation where she often misbehaves. These women accept that they have already decided to submit to their HOH’s decisions concerning behavior and discipline, so that they must accept a Preemptive Discipline if their HOH decides that it will be necessary. A Preemptive Discipline is something that can be discussed at any stage of a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. Some couples who use a contract to outline punishable behavior and the specifics of discipline may like to purposely include or exclude Preemptive Disciplines from their contract. Other couples may agree verbally to integrate Preemptive Disciplines into their Loving Domestic Discipline practice, while others may agree to avoid their usage. Some women who have given a blanket agreement to their HOH to discipline them as they see fit may find themselves receiving a Preemptive Discipline and having to accept that as part of Loving Domestic Discipline. It will certainly do them no lasting harm and will probably be highly beneficial for their behavior and for their relationship with their husband. At the end of the day, Preemptive Disciplines are just another tool that will help to improve a woman’s behavior and the loving connection between a man and woman. If this tool works for a couple, then they should keep using it. If not, then it can easily be discarded.

You may wonder,

“Why shouldn’t the woman be given a chance to behave properly before being punished?”

The whole Preemptive Discipline thing seems grossly unfair, you may be thinking. And you are right! Of course a woman should be given a chance to behave properly before she is punished. Of course it is unfair to punish her before she has even put a foot wrong. Unless she has a prior history of misbehaving in the same situation. Unless she has even been punished before for her misbehavior in this same situation, but has not learnt from her discipline. Under these circumstances, a Preemptive Discipline would be highly appropriate and not unfair at all. If she has been previously disciplined for the same misbehavior but has not improved her behavior, then a Preemptive Punishment will help her to avoid this negative behavior in future. It simply brings her behavior into her consciousness. It makes her more aware of her behavior, rather than just drifting through life is an unconscious daze, not caring what she does to herself or to other people.

A Preemptive Discipline is especially appropriate if the woman’s misbehavior negatively affects other people. If she has a strong tendency to behave in a hurtful, cruel, thoughtless or uncaring way to other people in certain situations, a Preemptive Discipline is highly necessary to prevent her damaging or disrespecting others. Her good behavior in this future situation is ultimately more important than her temporary discomfort that results from a Preemptive Discipline spanking.

A Preemptive Discipline works well and it works very simply.

It works because the memory of the spanking is still fresh in her mind. It works because the pain and tingling in her bottom is still there. These are both good physical reasons why a Preemptive Discipline works. But they also work because the woman knows that she has misbehaved in the same circumstances before. Therefore she knows that she is not being punished unfairly. In fact, she knows that she has had previous opportunities to correct her own negative behaviors but has failed to do so. In her own mind, she recognizes the essential justness of her Preemptive Discipline and realizes that her behavior must change, otherwise she will be spanked after the event as well as before it. Her knowledge of her own wrongdoing creates an awareness of her own guilt in her mind, and this awareness both justifies the infliction of the Preemptive Discipline and also enhances its beneficial effect on her.

When a woman receives a Preemptive Discipline, it should be given as close to the event or situation (where she has previously misbehaved) as possible. If the couple is going to have lunch in a week’s time with his parents, a situation in which the woman usually behaves badly, it is best to deliver the Preemptive Discipline just before leaving. Spanking her six days in advance of the lunch is not a good idea, of course, because she may have forgotten the spanking by the time the lunch comes around, and its benefit will have been lost. And she will probably need to be spanked after the lunch for misbehavior anyway, which adds more fuss and bother to the whole proceeding.

Sometimes it will be acceptable to preemptively punish her the day or night before an event, especially if the couple has to rise early in the morning. Under certain circumstances, a Preemptive Discipline a week or more in advance can be acceptable and still be useful. For example, the HOH may need to be away on business for some days or even weeks. In this situation, it would be appropriate for him to give his woman a Preemptive Discipline or even a preemptive Maintenance Discipline, if she will be due for one while he is away. That would give her a useful reminder of his willingness to discipline her for misbehavior. This reminder will linger in her memory while he is away.

How should a Preemptive Punishment be given?

That is to say, is it any different from a normal punishment spanking? The answer is – that depends. Some husbands like to conduct a Preemptive Discipline like a punishment spanking but with a reduced severity, because the offence has not been committed yet. While that is a fair and reasonable approach, other men prefer to inflict a Preemptive Discipline on their wives that is every bit as severe as a normal spanking for misbehavior, because they want the full deterrent effect of a punishment spanking. If the discipline is too mild, it is possible that the Preemptive Discipline will not be effective. This is something the couple can discuss in advance, but once the idea of Preemptive Disciplines has been accepted, the ultimate decision belongs to the HOH.

Some people wonder whether the woman should be brought to tears in a Preemptive Discipline. Generally speaking, the answer is yes, because tears are an important and integral part of Loving Domestic Discipline and should always be encouraged. See the article on Tears for more information. Those men who like to make a Preemptive Discipline less severe than a normal punishment spanking may not wish to bring their woman to tears during the spanking, or alternatively may spank her so that she cries a little less than she does during a real discipline spanking.

The use of Preemptive Disciplines can work in very well with a standard weekly Maintenance Discipline schedule and they need not conflict. If the woman receives her Maintenance Discipline every Sunday, for example, and there is a situation on Saturday that requires a Preemptive Discipline (due to a past history of misbehavior in that same situation), there is no harm in giving her a Preemptive Discipline on the Saturday as well as a Maintenance Discipline on the Sunday. The Maintenance Discipline schedule operates independently of any Preemptive Discipline that may be necessary. There are those who argue that the Maintenance Discipline on the Sunday should be enough, but they are forgetting that the main benefit of a Preemptive Discipline is to prevent misbehavior. Disciplining a woman only AFTER she has misbehaved is a bit like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted – a bit late. The whole Preemptive Discipline concept is based on the idea of a preventative, deterrent discipline that ensures her good behavior in the immediate future. It is a potent reminder to the woman that she is subject to discipline for her misbehavior and that any dishonesty, disrespect or disobedience on her part will not go unpunished.

As previously mentioned, Preemptive Disciplines can also be used by couples who do not wish to use Maintenance Disciplines.

Some women do not require discipline for a long time if they are well-behaved. However, if they are approaching a situation in which they have misbehaved before, a Preemptive Discipline can be very appropriate, especially for a couple that does not use Maintenance Disciplines. A Maintenance Discipline schedule will normally help to keep her well-balanced, loving and well-behaved. Without this, the man is left with waiting until she misbehaves and then giving her a discipline spanking. A good Preemptive Discipline can prevent her misbehavior and avoid the need for a follow-up discipline spanking.

Because most women function more intuitively and emotionally, they sometimes find themselves on a rollercoaster of events and instinctive emotional reactions that are not always in their own best interests, or the best interests of those around them. They can find themselves being carried away by emotional responses to situations and behaving hurtfully towards themselves or other people. This is where a Preemptive Discipline can be used to halt the rollercoaster before it rushes away and causes damage to someone. This is also where the more detached approach of a man is useful. He has an approach that can be more mental than emotional, more masculine than feminine, and this helps him to see his woman’s behavior more accurately than she can herself. His loving but firm guidance via the techniques of Loving Domestic Discipline is what will direct and correct her actions for her own good and for the good of the relationship. Their relationship is a bit like a boat. Left to its own devices, a boat will float aimlessly over the sea and perhaps even capsize when it encounters a storm. But the presence of a captain’s guiding hand on the rudder can keep the boat afloat, even in a storm, and guide it to calmer waters when danger has passed. This is how Loving Domestic Discipline works and it is also how a Preemptive Discipline works. A Preemptive Discipline is like a captain making certain adjustments to his boat before it enters a storm. He is not trying to sink his own boat. He is making the necessary adjustments in order that everyone can weather the storm successfully.

A Preemptive Discipline should be used before any event or situation which is likely to provoke disobedience, disrespect or dishonesty by the woman. This might include things like a visit from the in-laws where, due to various frictions, her behavior leaves a lot to be desired and where she takes her frustrations out inappropriately. Sometimes a Preemptive Discipline can be given before an event during which normal punishment disciplines and Maintenance Disciplines will be impossible. Some examples of this might be a vacation or a stay at someone else’s house, where the lack of privacy will make disciplining her impossible, whether for misbehavior or for maintenance. A Preemptive Discipline administered before the vacation can serve as a sharp reminder of her responsibilities during the forthcoming discipline-free period, providing her with a fresh memory of the consequences of her misbehavior. When giving a woman a Preemptive Discipline before a vacation, especially a beach vacation, it is important to remember not to leave visible marks on her bottom or thighs that might be visible when she wears a swimsuit.

Another situation where a Preemptive Discipline can be desirable is when you have guests coming to stay for a few days at your home. The presence of guests will usually reduce your privacy substantially, unless you have a very large home. This reduction in privacy can make it difficult or impossible to carry out discipline spankings in the normal way. So a Preemptive Discipline given prior to the arrival of your guests will help to keep her behavior at its best, in spite of the pressures of the reduced privacy etc. The same thing applies when a couple goes to stay at someone else’s house. As guests, you don’t normally have the freedom or privacy to conduct the normal activities of a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship, so a Preemptive Discipline before the stay can help greatly.

If a woman is going out with one or more of her girlfriends and she has a history of driving home in a drunk state, a Preemptive Discipline before she leaves the home may be just the reminder that she needs to avoid acting foolishly again. If she has an appointment that she habitually misses on a particular day, giving her a Preemptive Discipline the previous day may help her to remember it for a change.

A Preemptive Discipline should not be given too far in advance, because the lesson of the discipline may be forgotten by the time the event rolls around.

Memories fade, especially memories of unpleasant discipline spankings, so the Preemptive Discipline needs to be reasonably close in time to the situation it is designed to prevent misbehavior in. On the other hand, a Preemptive Discipline should not be given too close to the event, in case she is still crying from the pain of her spanking, or in case her difficulty in sitting down is too obvious. Her bottom should be still stinging from the spanking but not so sore that she can’t sit down properly. This gets back to issues of correct spanking technique, and delivering a longer but lighter spanking will increase the disciplinary effectiveness while reducing the chance of bruising.

3 thoughts on “Advanced spankings, or preemptive discipline

  1. Great article. I am now receiving pre-emptive spankings and corner time having twice failed to turn up to Church meetings on time due to work and socialising. I was severely punished on both occasions. We do quite a lot of work for the Church so I am getting a pre-emptive spanking probably every other week. It is deservedly as severe as a punishment spanking and I am always in tears before being placed in the corner with my dress or skirt pinned up to gather the learning and prevent me offending again. To date it is working for us. It is not unfair as it has only been necessitated by my poor behaviour.

    I get maintenance spankings as well but feel this is correct.

    I wonder whether others have a similar experience.

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