How we began with domestic discipline: Part 1

When we first heard of domestic discipline, we were both shocked, appalled, and quite frankly, a little disgusted that something so “crazy” existed. Like a lot of anti-DD people, we, at first, associated domestic discipline to be a cover up for domestic violence. I swore this was something I’d never have in my marriage, and my husband agreed. He had a lot of the same thoughts about it that I did at first. As the weeks and months went on following my discovery of this crazy thing called DD, my mind started filling with thoughts like “I wonder if those people in a DD marriage are truly happy”, “I wonder if DD really does work”, and most importantly “I wonder if DD could work for us”. I guess curiosity got the best of me.

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My husband and I never had, and don’t have, any major marital problems. We’ve been fortunate from the beginning to have what I would consider to be an extremely solid marriage, relationship, and love for each other. When I first though of DD I thought “this must for people who are literally destroying their marriage one action at a time” and I was skeptical about whether or not it would actually work. But, I was curious to find out if the one issue we seemed to repeatedly have in our marriage could be solved by something so crazy as DD. I guess it was more like an experiment. 

I’ll be the first person to admit that my procrastination was annoying. I’m sure it annoyed my husband more than me, and although I was determined to fix it, my determination didn’t seem to go very far because, well, I procrastinated fixing my procrastination habit is the most clear cut way to put it. My thought process of “I’ll do it later” was beginning to cause unnecessary arguments between my husband and I and although we never really fought about it, it was clear it was becoming a problem. 

I thought long and hard about if I even wanted to bring up an idea such as trying domestic discipline to my husband because I was so against it. It seemed illogical to me to recommend trying something that I didn’t believe in. Still, I kept thinking “if this works, and if this actually can fix my procrastination, it’ll be the greatest thing ever”. For me, it was more of a “what do I really have to lose?” mentality. 

So, I talked to him about trying it. At first, his reaction was actually what I wanted it to be, which was “no way”. I was relieved a little bit because I think, deep down, I thought by him rejecting this idea that meant he must not have viewed the procrastination as as big of a deal as I did, or that he thought domestic discipline wouldn’t be a valuable tool to have in our marriage. Sweet. Experiment: Lets See If DD Will Work was over. Right? Wrong.

A short time later, my husband talked to one of his friends about domestic discipline and came back to me with a “maybe we should try it, just once” and so, reluctantly, we did.

For part 2, click here.

-Chelsea

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