This article is about how to spank your wife or girlfriend. This is not an article on how to DISCIPLINE a woman. The difference is that spanking is only one part of discipline or punishment. Discipline also includes things like scolding, corner time, reconciliation and other techniques. Together they combine to form a total sequence of events. This sequence is referred to as her punishment or her discipline and is designed to correct her negative behaviors and attitudes, as well as to restore the loving connection between the man and the woman.
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Spanking a woman involves two main issues: safety and effectiveness. Although the main purpose of spanking is to cause pain in her bottom, it is not to cause any real damage or physical harm to the woman, because that is violence rather than discipline. And we are talking about the use of Loving Domestic Discipline in a loving relationship, not in a relationship where there is hatred or contempt. So naturally the man needs to punish his woman without damaging her body. Therefore safety is paramount.
Effectiveness is the second most important issue in spanking a woman. Of course, other techniques such as scolding and corner time contribute greatly to the effectiveness of the discipline, but spanking is the single most effective part of Loving Domestic Discipline. So if you are going to spank a woman, it had better be effective. Otherwise, why bother? This means that giving a woman five half-hearted little wimpy slaps on her jeans-clad bottom is not really going to have any significant effect at all on her attitude, either immediate or lasting, except perhaps to cause her to lose faith in her man.
The simplest and safest way to spank a woman is with your hand. While an implement such as a paddle, belt or switch may be more effective in disciplining her, the hand is the most simple and safe solution to the problem of a woman in need of correction. For beginners, a hand spanking is highly recommended because it is much more difficult to accidentally injure her (aside from the pain of the actual spanking). If you have never spanked a woman before, you would be foolish to attempt her first spanking using anything except your hand.
The first thing to do when spanking a woman is to put her into the correct position. This is traditionally over his lap, known as “over the knee” (OTK) while the man is seated on a chair, sofa or bed. Other positions require more obedience on the woman’s part, so these may be less suitable for beginners. These other positions include laying flat on the bed on her stomach, bending over the back of a sofa, or standing up with her hands clasped behind her head while she is spanked. These other positions can also make it difficult, ergonomically speaking, for the man to reach her bottom easily, depending on their relative heights, and so may be less effective than the traditional OTK position.
Putting a woman over the knee is good from both the safety and effectiveness points of view. It makes her easier for the man to physically control while he is spanking her. This is important because it reduces the chances of her (or him) being accidentally injured if she struggles too much. He can restrain her legs by hooking his right leg over the backs of her legs, preventing her from kicking him as he spanks her. He can also use his free arm to restrain her hands behind her back, which will stop her from trying to shield her bottom with her hands. If she puts either or both of her hands in front of her bottom while he is trying to spank it, their hands may collide with injurious consequences. You can see that it is important that her hands and feet be kept away from her bottom while it is being spanked. The OTK position is the easiest way to do this, which is why it is so popular.
A woman should always be spanked on the bare bottom, not covered by clothing. This is so that the man can see the effects that his smacks are having on her buttocks. If she is spanked while her bottom is covered, he may accidentally cause more harm to her bottom than he intended – by bruising her, for example. The other benefit of spanking her bare bottom is that it is slightly more humiliating for her to have her bottom completely exposed, since she will be unintentionally revealing her most private parts to his gaze. This unpleasant realization will usually increase the effectiveness of the spanking.
The man can bare the woman’s bottom either before he puts her over his knee, or after. It depends on the compliance of the woman as to which is easier. If she is really struggling and disobeying, it can be easier to remove her clothes and panties when she is over the knee. Otherwise, it is easier to remove them beforehand. Whether the man removes the woman’s clothing or whether she removes it herself is an issue that depends on the man’s decision and the woman’s degree of obedience. He may wish to have her remove her clothing below the waist herself, because she is then required to obey him. Or he may feel that he is more in control if he removes her clothing himself.
Where should he spank her? Of course, he should restrict himself to spanking her buttocks, generally speaking. He could spank the backs of her thighs too, but it is simpler and easier to just spank her bottom. The female bottom is well-protected and well-padded. It can take a lot of punishment – more so than other parts of her body. That is why spanking is so simple, safe and effective.
One should not spank a woman anywhere above her bottom, because this can be dangerous as one approaches the kidney area. She should not be spanked above the top of the cleft or crack between her buttocks. She should only be spanked below the top of this cleft. It is not a good idea to spank anywhere near her coccyx (her tailbone), which is why it is necessary to restrict the spanking to below the top end of her buttock cleft. A woman can also be spanked where the buttocks meet the top of her thighs. This is a particularly sensitive area – more sensitive than the main part of her bottom cheeks. It is called the ‘sit spot’ by some. The sit spot, due to its sensitivity, is one of the most effective places to spank a woman if she is being disciplined for bad behavior. It is unlikely that the entire spanking will be directed here – usually the smacks are spread evenly across her buttocks for greater effect.
There are different ways to begin a spanking. Usually the choice is between starting out spanking her hard right from the start, or to start out slowly and build up the force and speed as the spanking progresses. Ultimately it depends on the man’s assessment of the woman’s offence for which she is being punished, and on his assessment of her emotional and physical state at the time of discipline. Many people prefer to start out slowly and relatively gently. This is recommended for beginners. Starting spanking slowly and relatively lightly helps to minimize bruising on her bottom. It also means that she can be given a longer and ultimately harder spanking, because the harder spanks can be built up to over time. This is a good thing, because one of the worst ways to spank a woman is to spank her not hard enough or not long enough. A woman can really miss out on many of the benefits of Loving Domestic Discipline if she is not spanked thoroughly. She may feel angry and resentful after the spanking – thinking that she is angry about being spanked, but actually feeling angry because she had not been properly disciplined by her man. A thorough spanking will also help to remove any guilt she may feel for having let herself and her man down by her behavior or attitude.
The best way to give a woman a long, hard spanking is to start out spanking her slowly and lightly. Build up the force in each stroke gradually over time. It may seem as though things are progressing very slowly for a few minutes, but the pain of the spanking will gradually build over time. As the pain of the spanking increases, the woman will start to experience some serious discomfort, both physically and emotionally. It is this discomfort that is the source of the wonderful effectiveness of a properly administered discipline spanking. The discomfort of a spanking is what will eventually make the woman regret her negative behavior or attitude that she is being punished for.
If the man’s hand is held stiffly when it strikes the woman’s bottom, it will hurt more than if his hand is relaxed. So he should generally begin spanking her with a fairly relaxed hand at first. If necessary, he can increase the tension in his hand as her spanking progresses, but he should be careful to avoid bruising her by striking her with a stiff hand too early. Some men maintain a relaxed hand throughout the entire spanking session, because it is still possible to give a woman a really strong and effective spanking without ever tensing up his hand.
Another technique involves spanking the woman with a change in emphasis from striking her bottom with most of the impact coming from his fingers to more of the impact being directed through his palm. A man’s palm will deliver a greater force than his his fingers. Some men use this change (either consciously or instinctively) as they progress from spanking the woman lightly to spanking her more firmly. It is important to be aware of this, because it is more difficult to spank lightly if the man begins spanking her with his palm, rather than his fingers. As the woman becomes accustomed to being spanked for discipline, this difference will become less important, however. A spanking is usually delivered with a combination of both fingers and palm striking her bottom, not one or the other.
Since the physical and emotional discomfort of a bare bottomed spanking is the primary source of its effectiveness in Loving Domestic Discipline, it is vital that the spanking does not end too soon. Don’t stop spanking just as it is starting to have a positive effect on her. If the woman is starting to whimper or cry, it is a sign that the spanking is becoming truly effective. It is a sign that the spanking is beginning to have its desired result. To stop at this point would be crazy. People don’t usually stop building a skyscraper halfway up. They keep going until it is finished. It is the same with spanking a woman. There may be a desire on the part of both the man and the woman to stop before the spanking has really had its desired effect, but the result will be worse than if there had been no spanking in the first place. A half-finished building is usually worse than no building at all. A half-finished spanking is very similar. The woman will lose all respect for her man and whatever feminine behavior the spanking was originally designed to correct will usually end up becoming much worse in the future. That is why it takes a certain amount of both mental toughness and deep love on the man’s part to carry through with the spanking until she has been properly and fully disciplined, until her lesson has been definitively learnt. If he ends the spanking too soon, they will both end up regretting it later.
Some couples find it best to conduct the spanking in one continuous rain of strokes on her bottom. Others may prefer to spank her for a few minutes and then to pause for a minute or more, before recommencing the spanking. If the woman is to be spanked in a series of sessions like that, it may be necessary to restart slowly and lightly, depending on how much time has elapsed since the end of the last session. If it is just a minute or so, her bottom will still be nicely warmed by her recent spanking and she won’t require much build up before she can be spanked at full force. If it has been several minutes or more since the previous spanking session, she will probably need a slow and relatively gentle restart to her next spanking session, so that bruising can be avoided and so the session can continue for long enough to discipline her properly.
When the man decides that she has been punished sufficiently, she will probably be in a state of distress. This may mean she is sobbing loudly or crying quietly, or just whimpering softly with the pain of her spanking. Ideally she should be expressing some kind of remorse for her behavior. This remorse may take the form of tears, which is a highly positive outcome for a discipline spanking. Or she may just express in words how sorry she is for her misbehavior or bad attitude that was the reason for her spanking in the first place. If she is still expressing defiance or hatred, she probably needs to be spanked some more, because a defiant attitude is usually a sign that she has not been disciplined enough. This process can and should continue until the man is certain that the spanking has had the desired effect on the woman.
After her spanking is over, she may be put into the nearest corner and told to stand there to reflect on the lesson she has learnt through being spanked. Or this step, commonly referred to as “Corner Time,” may be omitted. Whatever happens, it is critical that some kind of reconciliation and forgiveness should take place. A woman who has been properly spanked should be in a contrite and apologetic frame of mind. This genuine sense of being sorry for her behavior or attitude should never be dismissed or ignored by the man. He should always forgive her and soothe her, after she has been punished or after her Corner Time. He should not just leave her sobbing and alone. A discipline spanking is a wonderful opportunity for the couple to re-connect with each other, to re-establish the loving link between them. The woman’s apologetic and submissive frame of mind after her spanking should always be met with forgiveness and caring by the man.
Most men don’t find this forgiveness and tenderness phase very difficult at all, since they naturally feel strong love and compassion for this beloved woman who is the most important person in their lives, and whom they have just had to physically discipline for her own good. Even men who enjoy spanking in general don’t find it easy to give their woman a real punishment spanking, because it involves so much obvious discomfort for her. So forgiving her and comforting her after her spanking is something that most men naturally and instinctively want to do. If a man does not perform this crucial part of the Loving Domestic Discipline process, it is often because he feels (wrongly) that he must continue being stern with her, even against his better judgement. But as long as the spanking has been carried out effectively, he should comfort and forgive her as soon as possible, so that the loving energy can flow even more strongly between them.
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