It has been a while since the last entry here on Learning Domestic Discipline. Like you, I sometimes have things come up in life that temporarily occupy my free time. Thank you all for being so patient and understanding – particularly those of you waiting for answers in the comments. We have a busy summer lined up as well, so things are only going to get more hectic over the next couple of months. I certainly appreciate you all sticking with LDD through it all.
Last month’s personal entry was well received and appreciated by many (especially my wife), so at the beginning of each month I’m going to write a personal entry to mix things up a bit. It’s a nice break, I think.
Back in August, I wrote an entry about maintenance spankings. I’m familiar with them and I’ve discussed them many times with friends and fellow domestic discipline couples. I know how they’re done and what purpose they serve, but as I said in that August entry, my personal feelings on them were basically undecided. I’ve always been 50/50 on the idea of maintenance for our marriage.
With most concepts in domestic discipline, whether they’re old or new to us, I can instantly determine whether or not they’ll work for our marriage, or whether or not I agree with the concept. Maintenance spankings have always been an “on the fence” thing for me personally. I can definitely see how they would be beneficial to a relationship, which made me comfortable with the concept, but I also didn’t like the idea of spanking for no infraction from my wife. The “spanking for no infraction” side ultimately won out, and I’ve never really considered maintenance spankings after I made the decision not to do them. I simply didn’t see the need for them in our marriage.
Well, my feelings on them have changed.
About a week and a half ago, my wife and I started with maintenance spankings. What changed my mind? Hmm. That’s a good question. I can’t really pinpoint one thing specifically, but there were two major factors that made me reconsider my initial stance on them.
The first factor was the overwhelming amount of support maintenance spankings had from couples that do them. Every person that I talked to about them – both men and women – appreciated the fact that maintenance spankings were a part of their relationship. It was interesting to me that even the submissive partners appreciated them. I mean, if a submissive partner getting spanked without infraction actually appreciates it, then there must be something to it. There must be a strong benefit from doing maintenance if every person that does them supports the idea wholeheartedly.
The second factor was my wife’s behavior. Her behavior wasn’t terrible or anything, but she was having moments where she seemed to forget who the HoH of the marriage was. She wasn’t doing anything major enough that would necessarily warrant a standard discipline spanking, but she wasn’t exactly being a perfect angel either. I don’t expect perfection by any means, but there were definitely moments where she would challenge me. I didn’t want to do a full on discipline spanking because the “challenge moments” weren’t THAT bad, but I didn’t exactly want to let it go, either. I needed to do something, and corner time is usually my go-to punishment for something like this, but I wanted to do something different. Something that really got the point across.
I decided to start maintenance spankings.
Our first maintenance spanking would probably be better referred to as a “reminder spanking”, since it DID have multiple minor infractions tied to it (challenging me regularly). Regardless of what you want to call it, it was effective, and these maintenance/reminder spankings will be something we continue on with for the foreseeable future. My wife is SO excited about that (not really).
Up to this point we’ve only had two maintenance spanking sessions. They’ve both gone well, and they’ve both had positive results. It’s still a bit too early to tell if they prevent major infractions (my wife doesn’t make major infractions often as it is), but they have certainly served the purpose of reminding us both how the dynamic in our marriage works. There has been less “challenge moments” from my wife, and the general feeling in the house has been happier, less stressful and more peaceful, which has been nice.
I feel it’s important for domestic discipline couples to continue evolving and growing together as their relationship moves along into the future. My wife and I are no different. We’re open to trying new ideas (new to us, at least), and if they don’t work for us, then we throw them out and move on. We gave maintenance spankings a try, and so far they have been a positive experience for us. As long as I/we continue to see good things result from maintenance, they’ll continue to be a part of our marriage.
The moral of the story is that you shouldn’t be afraid to give something new a try. It may or may not be a positive experience right away for your relationship, but if it is, obviously you’re relationship will be better and you’ll be so happy you gave the idea a chance.