Last week we answered a few questions people regularly ask when it comes to spanking in a domestic discipline marriage/relationship. This week we’ll answer a few more. No sense in a lengthy introduction. Let’s get right to it.
If you’d like to review the questions we covered last week, you can do so by clicking here.
My partner gets really scared before a spanking and has a hard time cooperating. What do I do?
First thing is first – the HoH needs to understand why their partner is acting the way they are. It’s likely one of three reasons: 1) they disagree with the reason they’re being spanked; 2) they’re trying to avoid or get out of being spanked; or 3) they aren’t quite understanding the dynamic of a domestic discipline marriage/relationship and are having a hard time accepting their part of it.
If the submissive partner’s poor behavior before a spanking is a one time thing (meaning generally they’re cooperative, just not this time around), they likely disagree with why they’re getting spanked. If this is the case, it’s important to hear the submissive partner out and listen to their side of the story. In this situation we recommend having a calm talk with the submissive partner about why they feel the way they do, and why they don’t see their behavior (the reason for the spanking) as a spankable offense. Discuss the entire situation and come to some sort of agreement on the punishment. The HoH shouldn’t let the submissive partner “convince” them or “persuade” them into not spanking, but if the submissive partner has a valid point and gives a legitimate reason for a lighter punishment, then so be it. The HoH should always exercise sound judgment and be fair. There’s nothing wrong with that.
If the submissive partner is throwing a fit, storming out of the room, slamming doors, yelling, and generally acting like a child prior to a spanking, then they’re trying to avoid or get out of the spanking. There really is no excuse for this kind of behavior. In an instance such as this, we would recommend having the submissive partner spend some time alone in the bedroom until they’re ready to handle the situation like an adult. If this is a persistent problem, rather than get angry and increasing the punishment, we would recommend the HoH sit with their partner and comfort them BEFORE the spanking. Often times when the HoH is understanding, comforting, and loving, the submissive partner will calm down and realize they can handle their punishment.
If the submissive partner just isn’t understanding the dynamic of a domestic discipline marriage/relationship and refuses to cooperate on a regular basis, we’d advise the couple seek professional counseling. An ongoing, persistent lack of cooperation from the submissive partner is, in our opinion, the ultimate level of disrespect. At that point, it’s time for a professional to help you both.
My partner has hidden/thrown away our implement(s). Now what do I do?
This is more common than we thought. This happens a lot, and it’s a very serious problem. There are three issues within this act, and all of them need to be handled individually.
The first problem is the disrespect factor. Throwing away or hiding the implement isn’t “accidentally” done. This is premeditated, deliberate disrespect which is a major, major problem. We recommend spanking for the disrespect, and since the primary implement(s) is/are gone, the HoH is going to have to use something else. A hairbrush works well, as does a wooden spoon. For more experienced couples, a belt would be an option as well. The extent of the spanking is ultimately determined by the head of the household, but for deliberate disrespect we recommend the punishment be a rather serious spanking.
The second problem is the unnecessary financial factor. You’re going to have to buy a new implement (if they threw it away) which is a complete waste of money. There was nothing wrong with the implement to begin with, and now it’s thrown away. For this we recommend the HoH inform their partner that the new implement cost $XX.XX amount, and they now cannot do something that cost the same amount of money. For instance, if the submissive partner threw away a $15 wooden paddle, then the next time they want to go out with their friends or relatives, they can’t go. The idea is to get them to think, “Wow, if I hadn’t thrown away that implement, I could have went out with my friends/family.” It isn’t so much about the monetary value, it’s about the fact that the money spent on a new implement could have went to something else.
The third problem is the act of throwing away the implement itself. We would recommend spanking for this as well, and we would recommend spanking as soon as the new implement arrives.
In addition to these punishments, we recommend giving a fairly stern lecture to the submissive partner to make it clear this cannot happen again. Hopefully the submissive partner will understands that hiding/throwing away the implement is a terrible idea, because it is.
How long does the pain last after a spanking?
This is a difficult question to answer since there are so many variables within a spanking (over or under the clothes, the number of strikes, which implement is used, etc.). All of these factors contribute to the extent and intensity of the pain experienced afterward.
After a beginner level spanking, the buttocks should be a pinkish color and the intense pain should last anywhere from 15-30 minutes immediately afterward, depending on the factors listed above and the pain threshold of the submissive partner. After that initial intense pain period, the submissive partner generally experiences soreness/discomfort for 2-3 hours if the spanking was done correctly.
After an intermediate level spanking, the buttocks should be red, and the intense pain generally lasts anywhere from 30-45 minutes, depending on all the factors above. After the initial intense pain period, the submissive partner generally experiences soreness/discomfort for 4-5 hours if the spanking was done correctly.
After an advanced level spanking, the buttocks is a very bright red, and the intense pain generally lasts anywhere from 40-60 minutes, depending on all the factors above. After the initial intense pain period, the submissive partner generally experiences soreness/discomfort for 8-12 hours if the spanking was done correctly.
We apologize for so many generalities within the answer to this question, but it truly depends on a lot of different factors when it comes to how the spanking was conducted. This should give you an idea though.
We know there are a lot of questions to address when it comes to spanking. There is just so much that goes into a spanking, how it should be done, what to expect, etc. We understand you may have other questions, so please feel free to ask them in the comments.